Leading Without Permission
- Mar 5
- 3 min read
By Beeta Tahmassebi
Founder and CEO, Illuminate LLC
I spent 25 years building a career I loved, doing meaningful work in support of global health, education, workforce development, and development innovation. I helped the company I joined at its launch grow into a major government contractor with more than 500 staff and offices around the world. I loved the mission, the complexity, and the feeling that we were doing work that mattered.
But during those years, when I could see things that weren’t working, I did not always have the leverage to change what I didn’t own. So I learned the unspoken rule many women recognize immediately: you may have deep insight, but you must deliver it carefully. You wait for the right moment. You choose the right words. You aim them at the right people. You manage everyone else’s comfort level while trying to move important work forward.
In an environment shaped by longstanding relationships and deep institutional history, I learned that not every hard conversation is welcome. And I was surprised to find that even when I made it to the executive team, I still had to edit myself, checking and rechecking to ensure my feedback wouldn’t be received as a challenge to someone’s worth or ownership, even when it was offered in service of the mission. That was the permission cycle, and it was exhausting. We were also doing too well to consider leaving it behind.
Then early 2025 hit our sector like a shockwave.
With the sudden loss of USAID funding across much of the development landscape, contracts around the world came to a halt, including the majority of ours. The uncertainty was immediate and global, and in February, I was laid off.
Days later, I launched Illuminate LLC. I did not have a master plan. I just knew that waiting felt worse than failing. For the first time in my career, I realized I was no longer calibrating my voice to fit inside someone else’s hierarchy. I had the power to move.
Starting over at this stage of life will test you. It has tested me. I kept moving anyway. I scheduled the calls. I pitched the work. I heard “no” more times than I can count. It was messy and humbling. And it was clarifying.
Because something surprising happened when I finally had the agency to decide: I started learning faster.
I leaned on my roots in evaluation, training, and organizational development. I listened closely to what leaders and teams were actually struggling with, especially in mission-driven organizations being asked to do more with fewer resources and less certainty. I focused on what was working and what could be strengthened.
I also made a deliberate decision to dive into AI, not as a trend, but as a practical tool to reduce burden and help teams work smarter. Learning something new as an experienced leader is a powerful reset. It reminded me that I can evolve, build new skills, and shape change instead of reacting to it.
Bold leadership today looks like the disciplined pursuit of positive impact and job creation. It means refusing to keep using old playbooks that no longer serve people. And it looks like tapping into community, because while permission is no longer something I need, I am certain that support, partnership, and working with other great people are the keys to success.
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