From Survivor to Supporter: My Personal and Professional Journey in Perinatal Mental Health
- 5 days ago
- 4 min read
By Kara Kushnir, LCSW, PMH-C
As a perinatal psychotherapist, my journey into this work is deeply personal. I did not grow to specialize in pregnancy or postpartum because of some long standing dream to be a birth worker; instead, I found this calling through my own experiences with birth trauma, postpartum OCD, and anxiety. The struggles I faced were profound, leaving me feeling terrified, overwhelmed, and like the me I knew was missing. But over time, I learned the power of both receiving support and helping others was not just as a way to heal, but a form of self-care.
My own experience with birth trauma was difficult to navigate. Like so many parents, I thought I was prepared for childbirth and postpartum. But nothing truly prepares you for the emotional and psychological toll it can take, especially when your experience contrasts sharply from what you had envisioned. I felt guilty for my inability to feel “grateful” in the way I thought I should be when I was obsessively checking the baby monitor, sleep deprived and a shell of myself as a homecare nurse was packing my C-section wound every day for the first 8 weeks – this was not the picture of motherhood I was sold.
It was through my early motherhood journey — filled with moments of fear, doubt, and sadness — that I realized the power of connection and support. I was lucky enough to have other women in my corner connect me to the right kind of support - from trained perinatal therapists, to pelvic floor PT, nursing support and more. Through a small “village”, I started to understand the complex nature of mental health in the perinatal period. It was in this healing space that I began to see a clearer path forward: if I could heal from this, I was determined to try and help other women avoid this at best, or feel held, safe and hopeful in the least.
Becoming a perinatal psychotherapist wasn’t just a career choice for me; it was an act of self-healing. The process of learning how to support and care for others who were experiencing similar struggles allowed me to process my own trauma. There’s something incredibly powerful about seeing yourself reflected in another person’s story. When I sit with a parent who is feeling overwhelmed by their birth experience or parenthood journey, I am reminded of my own experience — of the isolation, the uncertainty, and the need for validation and support. This deep connection allows me to serve others in a way that feels incredibly meaningful.
Now, as the Chair of the Board for PSI-NJ (Postpartum Support International-New Jersey), I find that my journey of giving back is an essential part of my ongoing self-care. Advocating for better outcomes for parents in pregnancy, birth, and postpartum is more than a professional responsibility; it’s a personal mission. I see myself in the parents I get to support every day. The knowledge that I am helping to create a community that offers resources, education, and support to those in need is not just rewarding; it’s empowering. Helping others — whether through providing therapy, advocating for policy change, or being part of an organization like PSI-NJ — has a profound impact on my own emotional and mental health. It reminds me that healing is not just an individual process; it is deeply interconnected with the well-being of those around us.
What I’ve come to understand over the years is that mental and emotional well-being are strengthened when we give. Whether it’s through a gentle nod of understanding, an act of kindness, or offering support to those going through similar struggles, we find meaning in the act of helping. When I see the strength in parents who are facing their darkest moments and the courage it takes to ask for help, I feel empowered to continue doing the work I love, knowing that my own healing is intertwined with the healing of those I support.
The benefits of helping others are not just theoretical; they are backed by research and lived experience. When we give, our brains release oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone,” which promotes feelings of connection and well-being. It reduces stress and promotes a sense of calm and safety. For someone like me, who has struggled with anxiety and trauma, this boost in oxytocin is not just a nice side effect; it is a vital part of my healing process. Giving back, whether through my work or through small daily acts of kindness, is a powerful self-care practice that helps me feel grounded and connected to something bigger than myself.
For new and expecting parents who are struggling with mental health challenges, I want to emphasize that you are not alone. There is power in seeking help, in reaching out for support, and in connecting with others who truly understand. It’s okay to not feel okay. It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s an act of strength. And as you begin to heal, you might find that helping others — whether through sharing your story, offering a listening ear, or getting involved in your community — becomes a path to deeper emotional well-being.
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