by Wadzanai Garwe
I kept being asked to write my memoir. I found it very difficult to do so because my life has been incredibly rich and fulfilling albeit one of overcoming divorce, mental illness, stigma and all sorts of other things. I decided instead of a mini biopic, in which I would be the star and glide effortlessly through life always looking good and brushing over my culpabilities, I would share the lessons I have learnt during my
personal and professional life.
I have collaborated and co-authored 6 books, but this is my first all by myself, apart from my Masters’ thesis. I decided to delve into whom Wadzi is in her innermost soul is a 21st century nomad. I have sought
out experiences and through this book I discovered that I have remained true to my inner self. As a long-term survivor of HIV – 33 years in 2025 - I feel that every moment is precious. I take loads of pictures to immortalize the moments because the pictures help me remember. I love hugging people and looking deeply into people’s eyes - because eyes are the windows to the soul.
I believe that I am placed on this earth to make a change. I seek out like-minded people with whom I can continue my journey of learning. I seek out life and through life and living in the moment I thrive. I do not
like the word survivor because that implies the first level of the hierarchy of needs. I do not survive. I am like that flower that blooms through the crack in concrete. I bloom wherever I can. I bring sunshine and joy because this life is not a dress rehearsal. There’s no second take or do over.
This is it and I experience life, and I invest in living my best life. My life experiences including plunging the depths of despair when I lost my marriage and lost my mind through complex post traumatic disorder
(CPTSD). Having lived through many life-altering events I learnt to truly savor moments. Through reaching the heights of ecstasy I learnt that I could never be mediocre because I feel. I emote. I hug and I love
deeply. Drama and excitement and laughter and tears and joy and pain abound in my life. They are the ying and yang that makes the pendulum swing from joy to pain. I am uniquely made.
No one is like me. My experiences have made me unique. I’m tenacious and I fight for what I believe in. I’ve been called strong, but I hate that word. Every African woman is strong. I am also vulnerable and there’s only one me and I have chosen to do me and be me and allowed the world to adjust to me.
I am a force of nature. My Italian friends call me “una forza della natura”. I have learnt radical compassion, radical acceptance and radical love of myself. In my 59th year of life I discovered that compromising whom I was as a person had almost killed me.
Life is too short to eat horrible food and to drink bad wine. I live my best, unapologetic life. I’d rather be mad because conformity almost broke me! I’m huge. Big heart, bear hug, big feet and just overall a huge, huge heart filled with love.
Infinite love for myself and for humanity.
I end this piece with my favorite saying in the whole wide world ABC - attend to your basic needs with compassion. Learn to exercise the compassion that you use on your best friend on yourself.
Connect with Wadzanai
Instagram: @wadzanaigarwe
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