The Art of Renewal— Learning to Love Myself, One Small Promise at a Time
- Dec 3
- 2 min read
By Misty Gebhart
For most of my life I tried to be invisible. I stayed small, kept the peace, and avoided mirrors like they were traps. I didn’t take care of myself. I ate to numb, punished myself for every mistake, and sabotaged anything that looked like happiness. My daily routine was survival: coffee, maybe a shower, clothes passable enough for my teaching job, and a steady stream of self-criticism. I was a good teacher but a terrible friend to myself. Chaos was my normal, and I honestly believed I had no worth.
By 2019 I was exhausted. My life felt like a loop of bad decisions and emotional pain. One night, standing in that hopeless blur, I realized the only person who could change anything was me. I didn’t know how to love myself, but I was willing to try. That single decision was the beginning of everything new.
My first promise was small: brush your teeth every day. It sounds ridiculous, but for me it was revolutionary. I had never thought I was even worth clean teeth. Every morning I forced myself up and kept that promise. One tiny act of care built the foundation for another. I started walking ten minutes a day on a treadmill, then outside. I ate food that nourished me. I slept—deep, healing sleep my body had been denied for decades of living in survival mode.
Letting go was harder. I had to unlearn the belief that my worth depended on keeping everyone else happy. I had been trained to believe that if I upset anyone, I was unlovable. Releasing that idea felt like peeling off my own skin. But slowly, I learned to take up space, to speak honestly, and to stop apologizing for existing.
A year into my self-love experiment, I hardly recognized the woman I’d become. I trained for and finished a half-marathon. I discovered that I love shoes, perfume, and dressing like I matter. I began standing up for myself in relationships, and eventually, I chose to leave the one that no longer fit the person I was becoming. For the first time in my life, I lived alone—free, safe, and proud of who I was.
Renewal, to me, isn’t just about change. It’s rebirth. It’s deciding, over and over, to love yourself enough to start again. My transformation didn’t happen overnight, but it began the moment I said, I will love myself, no matter what that looks like.
If my story sounds like yours—if you’re caught in the same exhausting loop, avoiding your reflection, or speaking cruelly to yourself—I want you to know this: you are beautiful, you are amazing, and you are worthy. The way out begins with one tiny promise you keep to yourself. Brush your teeth. Take a walk. Drink a glass of water. Do something small and keep doing it.
That’s how self-love grows—one kept promise at a time.
If my story were a Patchling, she’d be a purple eggplant named Eggerly Glitterjoy, born January 1st. Her affirmation would read: “It’s okay to take up space, speak your mind, and live in peace. Old habits may whisper, but truth always wins.”
Connect With Misty
Instagram: @ladymistyg
TikTok: @ladymisty
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