The Beauty of the Messy Middle
- Oct 13
- 3 min read
By Megan Dirks
After years in the self-development space, I’ve noticed something troubling. We scroll social media fast and seek transformation even faster. We’ve become obsessed with the “before and after” story. Social media serves up glow-up montages and highlight clips that compress years of struggle into 30 seconds. It looks inspiring, but it leaves out the most important part of the journey: the messy middle.
That messy middle is where the real change happens. It is where you decide to try again, pivot, fail, heal, and start over. It is where identity shifts, lessons get learned, and resilience gets built. Because it does not fit neatly into a viral post, this stage is almost always overlooked. By idolizing only the extremes of “before” and “after,” we create a culture where people feel ashamed for being in progress, even though that is the most universal human experience.
This obsession with transformation is an entire industry. Wellness, fitness, beauty, fashion, and business coaching have turned glow-ups intosales pitches, promising your “after” is one product, retreat, or investment away. Tools for growth can be powerful, but when taken too far they morph into pressure that whispers you are not enough as you are right now.
My name is Megan Dirks, creator of The Girl on the Left, and I am determined to flip that script. Rejecting the pressure toward perfection matters. Everywhere I turn, peers and friends are drowning in burnout, anxiety, and identity crises. We are exhausted, chasing perfection, clinging to toxic positivity, and running ourselves ragged in pursuit of an ideal that keeps moving out of reach. What we need now is a cultural shift that values the journey.
At The Girl on the Left, we have seen how powerful it is when women share their whole story, not just the polished bookends. The conversations that hit hardest are not about picture-perfect results. They are about losing a job and clawing back, navigating divorce, starting a business and failing twice before it finally worked. Messy healing. Slow progress. Small wins. They add up to a life worth living.
Our message is simple and urgent. The messy middle deserves visibility. If industries keep ignoring it, we will continue fueling shame and comparison. If we celebrate it, we normalize growth as a process instead of a performance. Consumers are shifting to crave honesty and flock to creators, brands, and communities that give them permission to be in progress.
The untold truth is that life is not a split screen of before and after. It is the blurred, complicated, often beautiful story in between. That is the story we need to tell more often.
The idea for GOTL came from my own struggle to accept my past self. After losing over 100 pounds, taking control of my health, and pivoting my career, I could not recognize her anymore. She felt foreign, even ugly compared to the life I live now. I deleted photos, ignored memories, and resented her. Eventually, I realized she was not the problem. She was the foundation, the one who kept showing up and paved the way for everything I have built today.
That realization turned into a book, The Girl on the Left is a love letter to the version of you that was never broken, never in need of fixing, and always waiting to be honored. It is a bold take on self-acceptance that challenges the idea that growth means leaving parts of yourself behind.
And that is the conversation we are starting.
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