The Missing Pieces Were Never Missing
- Oct 13
- 3 min read
By Pat Schultz
A Story About Perception, Blame, and the Brain's Wild Guesses
My brother-in-law loaned me a jigsaw puzzle. A lovely bookcase with a sleepy-eyed cat lounging on the shelves, all 750 pieces of it. He handed it over with a grin: “It’s a good one. You’ll love it.”
But as I got into it, I became convinced—absolutely sure—that he had lost a few pieces. At first, it was just a suspicion. Then it turned into muttered curses.
I’d stare at the growing image, and certain gaps remained stubbornly empty. Days passed. I sorted. I re-sorted. I searched under the table and retraced my steps like a forensic detective. But still, I blamed him.
“How careless can someone be?” I fumed, fitting in the edge pieces. “Why lend a puzzle you know is incomplete?” I had entire imaginary conversations with him in my head, none of them flattering.
Even as I neared the end—just two pieces left—I still cursed under my breath. And then…I finished it. Every single piece was there.
As I reflected on this experience, I realized my brain wasn’t lying to me, it was just doing its best with limited data.
Our brain is a "prediction machine." It fills in the blanks based on expectations, patterns, and prior experiences. When pieces appeared to be missing, my brain constructed a narrative to make sense of it. And that narrative was: He must have lost them.
It was the part of us that explains everything with confident stories, even when those stories are wrong.
The lesson? We all walk around assuming our perceptions are facts. But they're just guesses. Well-informed ones, maybe. But guesses all the same.
That puzzle taught me something surprising: sometimes the “missing pieces” aren’t out there. They’re in here—in our assumptions, in our need to blame, and in the stories our brains spin to protect us from uncertainty.
Next time I’m tempted to curse someone under my breath, I might ask:
What am I so sure of—and what if I’m wrong?
This story is especially important for women over 40 because it highlights a deeper truth many of us experience but don’t always recognize:
We’ve been taught to trust our inner narratives—even when they betray us.
By midlife, women have often built their identities around being competent, responsible, and emotionally intuitive. We’ve learned to read the room, anticipate needs, and make sense of complex social dynamics. But that very strength can become a trap: we begin to over-trust our interpretations.
When something feels off—whether it’s in a relationship, a job, a friendship, or even something as small as a jigsaw puzzle—we may jump to conclusions based on past experiences, unconscious beliefs, or emotional patterns we've rehearsed for decades.
Our brains are always interpreting reality, not passively observing it. The danger is that our interpretations often feel true, even when they're not. For women over 40, this can keep us stuck in cycles of blame, self-doubt, or defensiveness that don’t serve us anymore.
At this stage in life, many women are seeking more freedom—emotionally, spiritually, professionally. But freedom requires mental flexibility.
Our next chapter depends not just on wisdom, but on the willingness to question that wisdom.
Rewriting limiting stories, noticing old patterns of blame or mistrust, and staying curious instead of certain—this is the real inner work of reinvention.
Connect With Pat
@successcoachpat
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