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4 Steps to Heal Emotional Pain with Self-Love Feel, Breathe, Express, Receive By Brett Cotter


The first step is walk toward everything you've been running from. To sit with your emotions like you're sitting with an old friend and have compassion for your feelings like you're consoling a young child. 


“As a clinician, it was impressive feeling my own stress lift out of my body.”  Gerri DeBenedetto, LCSW, NY


The easiest way I found to feel painful emotions is to touch the tension in your body with your hand whenever you are upset. Emotional tension usually resides in the chest, stomach, solar-plexus, or throat. Touch creates a connection that helps the cells stuck in the painful past return to the present moment. 


Tightness in your heart reflects anger or sadness around being disconnected from love. Tension in your stomach results from pushing your emotions down. Tightness in your solar-plexus is caused by having your power taken away or giving it away. And tension in your throat comes from not speaking your truth. 


“I was depressed and suicidal. In 45 minutes that all changed. I learned how to cope with PTSD and be at peace within myself. I owe my life to him.” Rick Williamson, Army Veteran, Peer Support Specialist, MT


The second step is breathe deep and slow into the center of the tightness by focusing your attention on the tension as you breathe. You are now delivering life-force energy into the center of the tightness and the cake begins to bake as the ball of emotional pain unwinds and expands.


The third step is express all your feelings that are wrapped up in this pain. If you find yourself repeating statements you’re caught in a loop. Switch it up. Initially expressing what the pain feels like, where it is in your body, and what triggered it. Then going deeper expressing where it might be stemming from by verbalizing some details about the first time ever in your life, you can remember having this feeling. You can reflect on the household you grew up in and the family members that were with you. Let those deeper feelings arise and express in a stream of consciousness without sensor or judgement. I call this emptying the tank. Real emotional healing is not about the trigger, it’s about the trauma. 


“I was wrapped in the love and presence of my deceased son, grandma and grandpa. It was so peaceful. He has a God-given gift.” Sandra Henderson, Ret. Hospice Ast.


Once you’ve expressed all the built up emotions then move to the fourth step, receive. Finally the fun part. It’s fun because it’s full of miracles. As you touch the tension, breathe deep and slow, insert your favorite word to refer to a higher power and say, “____ shine your light right through the center of my [insert the location of your tension], unlock and release all this [insert the type of emotion you feel], right now. I reclaim my true identity, just as the creator created me. I am free for all eternity.” Repeating this statement slowly for 10-15 minutes while touching the tension will release the emotional pain from your body. If you’re wondering, “Why is step 4 named Receive?” “What did I receive?” The answer is your true self.


I just gave you the formula. If you want me to do it for ya, come to our next retreat to experience life-changing, lasting relief. You suffered long enough, just meet me halfway. Show up, I will guide you, and spirit will melt your pain away. www.StressIsGone.com


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