At First, I Sought Approval. Now I Lead on My Own Terms
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
By Pat Schultz
When I told my sister I was launching a private TV channel, I felt a surge of excitement. This wasn’t just a business idea—it was a personal mission, a chance to amplify my voice, step fully into my vision, and create something meaningful. I could feel the momentum in my bones, the pull of possibility, the thrill of doing something that aligned with both my purpose and my potential.
Her response was immediate—and deflating.
“Who’s going to see it? I’ve never heard of it. Your life sounds complicated.”
In that moment, doubt tried to sneak in. I replayed her words, questioning myself.
Maybe my idea was too ambitious. Maybe I was overreaching. Maybe I should have held back. Many of us—authors, entrepreneurs, creators—have been here: we launch, we dream, and then we measure our worth against the reactions of those closest to us. We wonder if our vision is too big, too risky, or simply misunderstood.
At first, I took her reaction personally. I labeled it criticism. Rejection. A reflection of my own inadequacy. I questioned my abilities, my judgment, and even the validity of my goals. But over time, I began to see the situation differently.
Her response had very little to do with me. It reflected her own framework of what felt safe, predictable, and achievable. She wasn’t dismissing me because she didn’t care—she was responding from the boundaries she had learned for herself. Neuroscience helps explain this: when someone sees another person taking bold risks or stepping into visibility, the brain can interpret it as threat rather than opportunity. The fear isn’t about you—it’s about what your courage and ambition awaken in them.
Once I understood this, I felt a profound shift. I stopped seeking validation from someone who couldn’t provide it. I stopped translating my vision into words designed to make others comfortable. And I stopped confusing love with agreement. Compassion replaced resentment. Clarity replaced self-doubt. Her doubts no longer blocked me—they became data, neutral and informative.
This lesson is especially important for authors and entrepreneurs. Leadership, creativity, and innovation rarely exist in spaces of universal agreement. Not everyone will understand your mission or celebrate your efforts. Some will hesitate. Some will resist. Some will question your direction.
That is not a signal to retreat—it is a signal that you are stepping into uncharted territory, pushing beyond comfort zones, and expanding what is possible.
At first, I thought her skepticism meant I was wrong. Now I see it differently: it means I am growing, claiming my space, and leading where few dare to follow. It means I am stepping into the full measure of my potential—and that is exactly where authors, creators, and entrepreneurs need to be.
The lesson is simple but profound: you don’t need universal approval to move forward. You need grit, discernment, and courage. You need to take action, even when others hesitate. You need to seek out allies and mentors who see not just who you are, but who you are becoming. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your vision amplifies your growth and accelerates your impact.
I no longer measure my worth by others’ expectations. I measure it by the clarity of my purpose, the consistency of my effort, and the size of the impact I am committed to making. I keep moving. I keep creating. I keep leading.
Because authors and entrepreneurs who rise and empower themselves don’t wait for permission. They own their vision. They act on it. They amplify their voice—quietly, confidently, and unstoppably. And in doing so, they expand not only their own potential but the possibilities for everyone who looks to them for inspiration.
Connect With Pat
Comments