Aviva’s Legacy
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
By Cristina Bernardo
co-founder of Avocado Health
A brilliant female Latinx author by the name of Isabel Allende was once famously asked to speak about her legacy at a conference in Europe in front of thousands of listeners. She joked that “legacy” was truly only a “man’s word.” I can’t type the exact word she used here unfortunately, though it was rather hilarious albeit slightly inappropriate for this medium. Yet what she said struck a chord with me. Was legacy truly a word meant only for men? And what, then, does it mean to us modern women—many of us trying to “do it all”?
My life of late has been, if not designed by death, perhaps built around it. The year 2020, like for so many around the world, brought immense hardship to me and my family. It brought my most beautiful third child, Aviva Lilia, into this world, and it also tragically stole her away from me on November 18, 2020, due to a rare and unknown illness. That same year also took away my beloved cousin Patrick, just 41 years old, who truly inspired me to lead a life of purpose, lost tragically to COVID. My nephew was also in a terrible car accident caused by someone who likely fell asleep behind the wheel. He survived—but lost his treasured girlfriend Jocelyn, only 31.
Death, it seemed, had found me. It awakened me to the true realities of life—the enormity of loss and the tremendous voids in between. Losing my beloved Aviva has fundamentally changed who I am at my core, shaken the life I once knew, and awakened me to all the little things I had been missing. Somehow, thankfully, I feel she has helped me find and see my own light as I never could before.
In losing Aviva, Patrick, and Jocelyn, I learned about death and what it truly means to me and to my family. Yet I also learned how to truly live—how to open my eyes and be present with those I love, how to believe in myself during the short time I have on this earth, and how to avoid continually doubting my worth and what I can achieve.
Losing Aviva taught me not only the depths of grief, loss, and regret but also the importance of love, connection, and purpose. It revealed my deep need to build a life and body of work rooted in meaning—not only for her but also for me. She showed me that what truly matters in this short life is how we show up for the people we love most, in the moments that mean the most to them and to us.
So, my legacy, you say? Perhaps it is, as Allende stated, a man’s word. It wasn’t something I actively thought about or pursued every day. Yet I see now that my legacy will not be in how people see me after I die, but in how I can help others to live more fully while they are still here.
I hope it will be seen that my legacy lies in helping as many parents as I can—especially women and mothers carrying the weight of so many responsibilities—find a little peace. To help them discover small moments of joy. To give them the support they need and the community they can depend on. To guide them toward what truly matters: those fleeting moments when we look into the eyes of the ones we love and truly see—and are seen.
This has led us to start Avocado Health, a 24/7 parent coach in your pocket, to provide answers, guidance, and support to parents when it matters most. I hope it can be the anchor for others that I never had through Aviva’s illness and the constant support I dreamt of for my daily parenting struggles.
So perhaps, in this way, my legacy is also Aviva’s.
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