Becoming the Chain Breaker: The Identity Shift That Changed Everything

Aug 4
3 min read

By Trish Ware, Educator and Business Mentor

There’s a moment I’ll won’t ever forget. I was standing in my kitchen, exhausted, and holding a toddler on my hip while helping another with her homeschool work. I had just worked a 12-hour shift as a labor nurse and that was just day one of three shifts in a row. The house was loud. The girls dancing around the kitchen. But the chaos inside me—louder.

Something snapped inside me in that moment, and a little voice in my frantic head whispered (TBH it might have been more like a scream): “No more.”

No more shrinking yourself.

No more pretending I was fine. I was clearly NOT FINE.

No more silencing myself for the comfort of others.

No more.

I couldn’t picture what I was stepping into, but I knew exactly what I was walking away from: the burnout, the people-pleasing, the pain, the illusion of safety in staying in what I knew.

Breaking Generational Cycles Isn’t a Cute little trend on Instagram—It’s Personal

For 25 years, I was in an emotionally and mentally abusive marriage. From the outside, everything looked like I had it together: mama of seven, labor nurse, church on Sunday…doing “all the right things.” But behind my closed doors? I was surviving. I was in constant crisis mode. I knew deep down that I was meant for more. I just didn’t know how to make it that happen.

Until I did the scariest thing I’ve ever done—I said no to him and yes to me. I left. I rebuilt. I laughed again. And the peace I could have never pictured became my story. And then I remarried in the most whirlwind, God-ordained way.

And I started took everything I knew from 16 years in the birth room and turned it into something I could teach. Because suffering and survival wasn’t the end of my story, it was the garden that would become my new one.

The Birth of a Business (and a Whole New Queen Identity)

I took everything I knew about showing up for women in their most vulnerable moments—in the birth room—and brought that same spirit into the online space. I didn’t show up perfect or polished but I damn well showed up me.

I started Labor Nurse Mama to help pregnant women feel educated, empowered, and excited about birth. I was sick of seeing women bullied and coerced during their births. So my goal became a mission, to change the birth culture one birth at a time. And 15,000 students later, I keep showing up. Messy, imperfect, and passionate about each life I touch.

Then in 2022, I started getting DMs from doulas, therapists, coaches, and moms asking: “How did you do this? How did you build a business like that?” And in 2023 my second business was born. The one that helps other women scale their message and impact.

But I didn’t just want to help women make money—I wanted them to reclaim their power and to create impact. Because it’s one thing to teach sales and content strategies. It’s another to teach a woman to trust her voice, own her messy story, and lead from her zone of genius. And to truly know she is enough.

Leadership Starts With Identity

I love to say: you can’t build a sold-out business on a burnt-out identity. So inside my coaching containers, I teach The Chain Breaker Formula™—a framework that helps women create heart led businesses planted in:

Visibility that feels authentic (no putting on a show—just be you!)
Messaging that sells by connecting without the salesy
Offers that flow from her purpose and solve real problems
Strategies that honor her energy, family, and faith
And most importantly: an identity rooted in truth, not trauma

I’ve learned from myself and my clients that once a woman stops asking “Am I enough?” and starts asking “What am I here to do?”

She. Becomes. Unstoppable.

The truth is, I didn’t go through what I did just to stay quiet. My suffering and my journey is my super power. And now I can hand the mic to the next woman who is still stuck in her “someday.”

To the wife who knows she’s meant for more…

To the coach who feels invisible online…

To the woman who’s tired of blending in but scared to be too much…

You get to say no more.

You get to decide what your story is going to be.

You get to be the chain breaker.

That’s not just a brand or my formula. That’s a legacy.

And I’m just getting started.

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