Breaking the Chains: How God Turned My Pain Into Purpose
- Jul 3
- 3 min read
By Nina Pajonas, Author of From Broken to Butterfly & Host of Born to be a Butterfly Podcast
There was a time when I believed freedom was for other people. People who hadn’t lived through trauma, who hadn’t numbed themselves with alcohol, who didn’t wake up every day suffocating in silence and shame. I wore a mask and called it survival. But deep down, I was a prisoner of my past. I was chained by memories I didn’t want to face, mistakes I couldn’t forgive myself for, and a version of me I didn’t know how to escape.
Eventually, I hit rock bottom—and it hit hard.
Years of pain, trauma, and alcohol addiction finally came to a head, and I went to rehab. I was forty-four years old when I walked into that facility, and the odds were stacked against me. However, I was determined to live a life where I could look in the mirror and not hate the woman looking back at me. That decision ultimately led me to my destiny.
In rehab, I found more than sobriety—I found salvation. I found a church. I found a community. But most importantly, I found Jesus.
Healing didn’t happen overnight. It came in pieces—in worship, in prayer, in discipleship, in therapy, and in tears. It came as I surrendered the version of myself that kept me a victim. God took the broken pieces of me and transformed them into something powerful. He took my wounds and turned them into wings.
Ironically, or divinely, the first worship song I ever led at my church was Freedom by Jesus Culture. I remember that day as if it was yesterday because it was much more than a song to me. It was a declaration of my life. I wasn’t just singing—I was testifying.
I used to believe my history would haunt me forever, but it wound up becoming the most powerful part of my testimony. Every time I spoke about my issues with alcohol addiction, trauma, and loss, I reclaimed a little more of myself. When I stopped hiding, I started healing. By sharing my story, I broke the chains that shame had wrapped around my voice.
That healing didn’t stop with me. As God restored my voice, He also began to reveal my purpose. During the pandemic, I co-led the launch of a Healing Ministry at my church—a sacred space where others could begin breaking their own chains, just as I had. It was living proof that when we allow God to use our pain, He births something beautiful through it.
I wrote my first book, From Broken to Butterfly, to share the story of how Christ met me in my brokenness. I also launched a podcast called Born to be a Butterfly to speak to other women who are struggling. I want them to know they aren’t alone and that we are all recovering from something in this broken world.
Conquering fear didn’t just set me free; it opened the door for other women to rise with me. What once held me back now fuels a movement of women stepping into healing and wholeness.
I now coach women who are navigating the aftermath of addiction, trauma, and toxic relationships. I speak to audiences about faith, freedom, and the healing power of surrender. I no longer feel the need to hide the parts of me that used to feel disqualifying because I know they are the very things God has used to qualify me for this work.
I’ve learned that freedom isn’t just about walking away from the past. It’s about fearlessly charging into your future. A woman’s liberation begins the moment she dares to break through her own limiting beliefs. It’s about choosing courage over comfort and not allowing society to silence you.
So today, I live unchained. Not because I figured it all out—but because I finally stopped trying to do it alone. I trusted the One who sets captives free. And now, I get to help others do the same.
Freedom is found in authenticity and vulnerability. Your voice is the very thing that will lead you to victory.
Nina Pajonas is a Christian author, speaker, and host of Born to be a Butterfly Podcast. After overcoming trauma, addiction, and shame through faith in Christ, she now empowers women to embrace healing and transformation. Her memoir From Broken to Butterfly shares her journey from pain to purpose.
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