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Cherished Memories

by Nadia Sheikh

When I was a little girl I was a huge fan of Anne of Green Gables. I had such an active imagination. I used to love reading books and imagine how my life would be.


What I thought my life would be I would have never imagined. My first exposure to death was when I was ten years old and that was seeing my aunt. I had lost my best friend when I was 18. I thought at that time that would have been one of the worst things that would happen.


I actually had a stalker. Luckily he didn't hurt me. I had an arranged marriage at the age of 24. My parents never forced me into it; however, I didn't like anyone at the time, so I thought I was like, okay, we could grow together. Was I ever wrong! I didn't think I would ever get married again. I had a huge wall up. So I had said if I were ever wanting to get married again, they would have to pass this huge barrier. So I had put up a huge barrier. 


What she didn't know, someone would penetrate that barrier. That person turned out to be what she had wished for as a girl, her Prince Charming. Their wedding was magical, and the time they were together was magical as well. When she would fall asleep on the couch, he wouldn't wake her up; he would just pick her up and bring her to bed. He knew his girl loved her family very much, and he would spend every second weekend with her at her parents' house. He wouldn't even let her carry anything heavy, even though he knew she was strong enough to carry the items. He would greet and say goodbye when she would leave for work, and then greet her by putting their dog out in the hallway and waiting by the door. 


We used to enjoy doing the littlest things together, but that's what made us closer together. Our bond and relationship were so strong that with him, it didn't feel like I needed anyone else. Then one day, two days before my birthday, he was hospitalized. He knew it was going to be his last time spending his birthday with me, so he made sure he was discharged on the day of my birthday just to be with me. I would have called that day bittersweet. It was bitter because I knew it was going to be his last, but I was so happy he was there with me. He made sure that I had my favorite food for my birthday. 


During his final days with us, no matter how much pain he was in, he had always been positive. I made sure to always stay happy in front of him and not cry in front of him. I was always hoping and holding onto the hope that there would be a miracle.


I was holding on until the very last moment, hoping there would be a miracle. I sat with him the whole time. However, he made sure to wait and not take his last breath in front of me. I was devastated, but I understood the reason why.


From the time he passed, three months later, my dad ended up with a collapsed lung and was intubated for a month. Two months after that, a girl I cared for and was very close to—her sister also passed. At that time, it was just one thing after another. Plus, moving from one place in BC and moving across the country was just all too much. Finally, six months after everything had happened and we had settled down into our new home, I finally got to go within and do some deep healing with prayers, sound healing, frequency healing, and deep breathing exercises.


I found that speaking to strangers, walking my dog, and just being in nature helped out a lot. I was speaking with one of my friends, and he said they had a group going through tough times as well, and one of the things they do is go for walks. Then he told me this is where they're going to walk. I said sure, I will join. Little did I know the walk would turn out to be a 21km marathon. I had never done one in my life. So as I was walking down the route, it was my first time being back. And it was on one of the routes my husband and I would walk all the time. It triggered me, so I ended up crying. But once I completed the 21km, I felt better, and now I know I can walk down the same route without even crying again. 


But I still couldn't believe I had completed my first marathon ever, and it was a 21km. I was proud of myself. After that, the following week, I completed a 10km walk.


Today, I am in my second year without him. It is still hard to believe he is no longer with me. However, what keeps me strong is the love that we had for each other, and I will always cherish those memories and the way that he treated me during our 10 years of marriage. I will always be grateful for him, for being the sweetest husband and my best friend. I will always love you and will always cherish our memories.


Connect with Nadia

Instagram: @sheikhnad2025

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