Choosing Gratitude: A Counselor's Story
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
By Anna Patricia Panaligan Grgurovic
After a series of student fights in the hallway, a school shooting threat rippled through the school where I worked. Classrooms emptied overnight, and many students stayed home for weeks afraid to walk through the doors. As they returned, I advocated for academic and mental health support. Within a month, I was told I had “advocated too strongly” for students and families and that my high school counselor contract would not be renewed for the following year.
At this point in my career, I was the Equity Committee Chair of the teachers’ union and had six years of experience leading equity teams and being a member of school building leadership teams. What added to the haze of disbelief was the school district in question had paid to send me to an educational equity leaders’ retreat in Houston. I was crushed under the weight of rejection from my dream job. I received letters of support from the community about the discriminatory nature of my release. Overwhelmed by the loss of professional identity, I spent the following summer in retreat.
Every time I replayed the months around my release, I became an empty shell. I grappled with the knowledge that the success of my student achievement data didn’t match the narrative the principal had created by not renewing my teachers’ contract. I vividly recalled moments from those last days. A retiring teacher holding her boxes crying in the hallway as she told me how my non-renewal added to her resolve to end her teaching career, another teacher cornered me at the school entrance to tell me how he found the decision unjust, and tears from one of my students as she handed me a parting gift, a portrait of how she saw me. On the square canvas, hues of gray and blue dancing shadows and flowers framed my solemn face.
In June 2024, I received messages from parents encouraging me to pursue litigation. At first, I felt validated. I saved their recommended legal counsel and began to research racial discrimination laws, teachers’ union rights, legal precedents to support my pursuit. These parents had lit a fire within me. Yet the portrait hung upon my wall and from there she stared at me. I thought of my time mentoring the school’s student leadership council. Then, I considered the professional development courses I spent months developing and implementing. I reflected on restorative practices training and community healing. I looked at my portrait. That student had been discouraged from taking AP Studio Art that year, and the teacher only accepted her at my behest. That student won “Best in Show.” I looked back at my career with solemn gratitude and recognized the gift that it was to be there for my students.
The portrait reminded me that I believe in healing communities, not tearing them apart.
I cried through my sorrow and found my breath again because loss is just an opportunity for both gratitude and healing. Determined to transform my grief to empower others to heal rather than seek retribution, I decided to write, design, and self-publish my own bibliotherapy journal, workbook, and children’s book. I refused to follow the path of vindication and chose the journey towards gratitude and peace. I developed Consider It Wellness as a chance to build community, and in less than six months of publication, I sold hundreds of bibliotherapy resources and have connected with thousands of individuals through book fairs and book conventions empowering people to find wellness through the books they already know and love.
I couldn’t have done it any other way, for goodness will endure.
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