Confidence Through Service: How Giving Back Shapes Leadership & Lasting Relationships
- Apr 28
- 4 min read
By Carissa Kristoff
During my professional life, in the real estate industry, I discovered that serving others not only makes communities stronger but it builds confidence, resilience and everlasting relationships as well. Some of the most influential leaders I met shared one common trait: a heart for giving, making me a firm believer that leadership is more about service and not just merely about having knowledge or skills.
From Service to Strength: How Giving Back Built My Leadership Skills
When I first started in real estate, I quickly realized that success in this industry isn’t just about selling homes—it’s about helping people find a place where they can build their dreams. My background in running a cleaning and management company gave me a deep appreciation for the behind-the-scenes work that makes a home truly shine. But more importantly, it taught me that the best way to earn trust and respect is through service.
Trust is built through acts of services; going an extra mile, putting others first and actively listening to understand them. The most fulfilling part of my job is being a trusted advisor, whether it is helping clients make smart financial decisions or guiding new homebuyers through their emotional roller-coaster of finding their perfect first home.
The Confidence-Boosting Power of Helping Others
In the early days of my career volunteering with local housing initiatives, having up-close experiences of the impact it had, reinforced my belief that leadership means to lift others up instead of standing above them. Confidence can’t be gained by year on experience or winning titles. It comes from knowing what you do makes a difference for others.
Every time I help a client navigate a complex transaction or calm their anxieties about a big life decision, I grow as a leader. Service teaches patience, problem-solving, and adaptability—all essential traits of confident leadership.
Service Strengthens Relationships—and Relationships Fuel Success
The most valuable lesson I learnt from my work is that the foundation of any successful career is building strong relationships. I myself have built life long relationships with clients by approaching businesses with a service first mentality. These relationships transcend one time business transactions. People remember you not by only what you did for them but also how you made them feel while doing that.
I consider providing services an extremely powerful tool. Once I helped a couple who was struggling to sell their home despite going to different agents. I took some time out to understand their unique circumstances and challenges, helped them stage their home in a better way without them investing any more into the house after which I connected them to appropriate resources. As a result, not only were they able to quickly sell off their house, I got referred to their entire network and from there we developed a close relationship which has lasted ever since.
Practical Ways to Lead Through Service
Following are a few simple ways to start if you are looking to enhance your leadership skills:
Mentor Someone in Your Industry: Try to share your knowledge by mentoring someone new to the industry which can prove to be a great tool to enhance your own expertise while building confidence.
Volunteer in Your Community: Focus on volunteering in your community as giving back helps inculcate leadership skills
Listen More, Talk Less: Try to understand before giving out and opinion or a response as strong leaders never just offer advice until asked for.
Go the Extra Mile in Your Work: Small acts of services such as offering support and going an extra mile always leaves a lasting impression
Leverage Your Skills for Good: If you have expertise in a certain field, try giving back to the society through pro bono work and consulting those in need if it can make even the smallest difference for them.
Final Thoughts: Leadership Begins with Service
In the real estate business or any other field in life, being focused with a service mindset not only cements professional and personal relationships but also paves way for sustainable impact. Knowing what you do can make a difference in someone’s life and helps build confidence which can never be gained by running merely after success. In my opinion, at the core of a great leadership lies the desire to serve others in the best way possible.
As women, leading with empathy, showing up and giving back to society, we have the power to transform lives, communities and industries completely. I will encourage you to start serving others if you are looking to build confidence quickly. You will be amazed to see how transformative it can be for you as well.
About Carissa Kristoff
Carissa Kristoff is a top real estate professional with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Select Properties, specializing in luxury homes, investment properties, and first-time homebuyers. With over two decades in the industry, she has built a reputation for her client-focused, service-driven approach to real estate. Carissa's background in running a cleaning and management company before transitioning to real estate has given her a keen eye for home preparation, staging, and market-ready transformations—skills she leverages to help homeowners maximize their property value.
Beyond real estate, Carissa is deeply committed to giving back. She actively mentors aspiring professionals, volunteers in her community, and advocates for service-driven leadership. She believes that true success is built on trust, strong relationships, and a commitment to making a difference in people’s lives. When she’s not helping clients find their dream homes, you’ll find her sailing, skiing, or tackling DIY home projects.
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