Connecting with Readers Through Gratitude and Vulnerabillity

By Emily Deaton

I’ve always loved to write, and working with other writers as an editor and book coach has taught me so much about the importance of sharing our stories and the power of connection and gratitude.

Turning your personal experiences into a compelling narrative can be challenging, but it's a worthwhile endeavor. My mentor, Kim Eley, shared a helpful tip with me that I always use when helping writers extract their narratives—ask writers what they want their readers to feel when they finish reading their story.

Most writers want their readers to feel a sense of connection and understanding, especially those who share a story that led them to feel gratitude. They want to inspire their readers. So, we start from there. How can we use a story filled with personal gratitude to inspire readers? Inevitably, the answer is that the writer must share their whole story, their whole truth, including their pain, struggles, and flaws. This is one of the hardest things for writers to do since it involves being vulnerable, and as a book coach, this is where it’s essential to create a sense of trust with the author. I always want authors to feel respected and safe sharing their stories with me before they share with readers, so I help them figure out what they should share. As an editor and book coach, it’s a balance of gently pushing and encouraging writers to “go there” and write about hard things and respecting their boundaries.

From a narrative perspective, writing about life’s difficulties is important, too, especially if we want readers to connect to a story. If we ignore the hard parts of a writer's story, then the narrative feels flat, and any gratitude expressed can feel inauthentic or unearned. Conflict, whether it's internal or external, makes the stakes feel high, and when the writer shows (not tells) the reader how they've grown and changed, they create a compelling narrative.

I encourage writers to write down everything when they're working on their first drafts. Censoring yourself too early can stifle creativity, and it’s particularly important to avoid doing that when writing about anything personal

Once they've completed their first draft, we look at developmental revisions. This involves looking at the pace, overall narrative, story structure, and characters.

Basically, we’re looking at the big picture. When an author wants to inspire readers and express their gratitude, that means each element needs to bring readers closer to feelings of inspiration and hope. Sometimes, that means filling in gaps, and sometimes, that means removing parts of the story that just don’t fit. After you've poured so much of yourself into a story, it can be hard to make revisions, but it's an essential part of the process. When you're open to working with a developmental editor you trust, the result should be a well-paced book that keeps readers turning the page.

From there, we work on copy and line editing (polishing the manuscript, making sure everything flows at a sentence level, fact-checking, implementing changes related to grammar and punctuation, etc.). The reason we do developmental editing first is that we don’t want to cut into the narrative and make edits to parts of the story that will end up being changed or removed. It ensures we have a cohesive story.

If you want to create an inspiring story that will truly reach and resonate with your readers, you have to start with the end result. Know how you want your readers to feel. Then, dive into your story with honesty. Don't shy away from sharing the difficulties you've encountered, and make sure you’re working with an editor whose opinion you trust and who understands your vision. Be open to feedback, and work with a developmental editor to identify the key components of your story. When you authentically write about the gratitude you’ve gained throughout your life, your readers will reflect on their lives and feel inspired, too. Hopefully, your readers will learn to share their stories, too.

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