Creating My Own Definition of Success

By Lisa Jacovsky

Growing up, I was told that the path to happiness was simple: earn a bachelor’s degree, land a stable career, and work a 9–5 job. That formula was presented as the best way to succeed, to do better than previous generations. For a long time, I believed it. 

My childhood dream was clear: I’d attend a reputable university, graduate in four years, and step straight into a career that would set the tone for the rest of my life. I thought a degree alone would guarantee independence and fulfillment. 

Reality, of course, was very different. College wasn’t four years for me, it was five. I struggled, switched majors, and abandoned my original plan to become a teacher. At the time, it felt like failure. But in hindsight, it was the beginning of my real journey; learning that my path was never going to be straight or easy, but it was going to be mine. 

One of the biggest turning points came when I failed an important exam multiple times. I am not someone who fails at school, so this was gut-wrenching. Yet, if I hadn’t failed, I wouldn’t be where I am today. That failure forced me to let go of the formula I had clung to since childhood and start building a life on my own terms. 

I initially tried the “safe” route, working a traditional 9–5 job. But I was bored, unfulfilled, and frustrated. Deep down, I knew I needed more. Deciding not to take that exam again was my first act of true independence. It gave me the space to ask what I really wanted, not what I had been told I should want. 

What I discovered is that my career didn’t need to look like anyone else’s. I stopped comparing myself to peers and started creating something that fit me. It wasn’t easy. There were years of uncertainty and self-doubt. But slowly, piece by piece, I built a career that excites me every day. 

Today, I don’t work a 9–5. Instead, I’ve created a multifaceted career that blends my passions and talents. I’m an award-winning author, a professor, nearly finished with my doctorate, and on my way to licensing as a school psychologist. I also run my own business, write magazine articles and anthologies, conduct research, and give leadership talks. Some people ask, “How do you find the time?” My answer is simple: I’m happy. And that’s all that matters. 

The truth is, I was never someone who liked to follow trends. Why should my career be any different? I had to accept that my path wasn’t going to be linear, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be meaningful. In fact, it made it more so. 

Now, I’m proud of the work I do and validated by the career I’ve built. It isn’t conventional, and it may not make sense to everyone, but it’s mine. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. 

What I’ve learned is that we need to normalize individualized careers the same way we teach individuality in life. Success doesn’t have one definition. For some, it may be a 9–5. For others, it’s a business, a creative pursuit, or a mix of many roles. What matters most is being true to yourself. 

Breaking the mold was the best thing I ever did. Determination, balance, and acceptance are what lead to a fulfilling life, not someone else’s formula. If there’s one lesson I hope we pass on to the next generation, it’s this: define success for yourself, and choose only the path that makes you happy.

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