Don't Silence Your Inner Critic—Befriend Her Instead
- 7 days ago
- 3 min read
By A.L. Jensen
You may have heard the advice, “Silence your inner critic.” It’s advice I’ve given many times to my writing students and book coaching clients. It’s good advice, most of the time, but I’m starting to think about that advice a little differently as I age and learn to treat myself with more compassion.
Can we actually silence the voice inside our head? The one that says whatever you are working on is not good enough, or you’re not worthy, or any of the other statements that come up as we’re trying to be creative? I know I’ve tried, and the truth is, I might quiet her for awhile, but she’s never really gone.
When I taught creative writing to high school students, I gave three simple rules when working on a writing prompt: 1) Write the whole time. 2) Silence your inner critic. 3) Have fun. I’d set the timer and students would write for the prescribed amount of time. Sounds easy, right? But for some writers, it’s harder than you might think. Especially that second rule. As if we can just flip a switch and that voice goes away like magic. If only that were true.
For many of us, our inner dialogue is a constant voice in our heads, criticizing everything we’re doing. It’s often a voice we’ve lived with for so long, we don’t remember when it wasn’t there. So, while I still suggest quieting that inner critic is a good idea, I’ve changed my thinking about how to do that.
If your inner voice is anything like mine, she doesn’t just sit back when I tell her to be silent. She creeps in, whispering, and reprimanding. She’s annoying. And sometimes cruel.
What I’ve learned is the inner critic isn’t going anywhere and we need to handle her in a different way. Instead of telling her to sit down or shut up, we could learn to speak to her as we would a frightened or anxious child. We could acknowledge her worries and tell her everything will be okay. Hold her hand. Give her a smile. Tell her it’s fine to be afraid, but we’re doing this anyway.
Remember, that little voice is trying to keep us safe and warn us about what could happen. It doesn’t want us to be disappointed or hurt. It’s protecting us. So why don’t we reassure it, let it know we’re ready to take this risk, even if it’s just putting thoughts to words and words to paper. The sky won’t fall. The sabretooth tiger won’t get us. Eventually, she’ll get it. It’s a little scary, but we’ll be alright.
Instead of silencing her, let’s acknowledge her, and even befriend her. Try some simple strategies and routines to so when her anxiety ramps up, she knows we’re doing this thing again, and we’ll get through it.
Set a Timer: Write in short bursts with a timer. Focus on getting words down without stopping to edit. She’ll have less time to interfere.
Embrace Imperfection: Accept that the first draft doesn't need to be perfect—it's about getting your ideas out.
Positive Affirmations: Start your writing sessions with positive affirmations to build confidence.
Create a Ritual: Develop a pre-writing ritual to signal your inner critic it's time to create, not critique.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Celebrate small wins and progress rather than aiming for perfection.
Separate Writing and Editing: Write first, edit later.
Visualize Success: Imagine the joy and fulfillment of completing your work to stay motivated.
Change Your Environment: Write in a different location to refresh your mindset and push past criticism.
Keep a Journal: Document your achievements and struggles. Reflecting on progress can silence the inner critic.
Your inner critic is part of who you are and a product of your past experiences. Maybe we shouldn’t silence her, but teach her it’s okay to take risks, to have fears, to make decisions. Maybe we learn to work with her and acknowledge the role she plays in our lives. She doesn’t need to be the loudest voice, but perhaps we don’t ignore her either. By listening to her and understanding where those beliefs are coming from, our decision to do it anyway will be all the more powerful. And eventually, our inner voice will quiet itself, feeling confident in our choices and celebrating our wins.
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