by Candy Kellen
December brings twinkling lights, festive cheer, and Hallmark Christmas movies – the perfect backdrop to help direct your focus on nurturing love and shared joy in your marriage. As your eyes flow freely over these written words, inspiration will shift your marriage toward fresher, closer connections.
Gary, my not-yet husband, and I had our first close connection during this special time of year. Our first date was at his workplace Christmas party. As he was introduced to new bank personnel, the room responded, "and he brought a date!" After dinner, ladies came over, asking questions about me. "I must have passed" because they started sharing stories and telling me about what a great guy Gary is.
Reflect
It’s now your turn to reflect… on your engagement. Why is that? Because that was the beginning of a lifelong commitment – love, mutual support, and shared happiness. It is your opportunity to intentionally revive those treasured times… together! Besides, it’ll be fun! As you revisit what has taken place, allow those past moments to bring new life to the present during this season of hope and joy! Reminisce about them because, together, love grows stronger.
Refresh
When you hear the word "refresh," what comes to mind? Fresh breath - gum? Fresh smelling - shower? I think of it as getting rid of the old and allowing freshness to come back into your marriage. Below are some ways you can bring in the freshness and some sunshine, too. Give these a try. Having your marriage refreshed is just around the corner!
- Practice forgiveness and understanding.
- Shared laughter
- Meaningful conversations
- Surprise gestures
- Gratitude practices
- Regular, distraction-free "us" time
Reengage
I’m not going to tell you that reengaging/reconnecting doesn’t take work; it does, but it's worth it! Your life changes. You’ll enjoy each other more, and life overall will just be smoother! As you reconnect, schedule a meaningful 5-minute connection regularly. Put it on your calendar!
1. What shared desires or visions bring you and your spouse closer together?
2. With that in mind, what would you like to explore to discover what could bring you even closer together?
3. By December’s end, what new habit will you create to enhance your connection?
This reminds me of a married couple that I read about, and the story has stayed with me. A husband, struggling to express love verbally, wrote a handwritten letter to his wife on Valentine's Day, along with breakfast in bed and new cozy slippers that he put on her feet. All that did, put a smile on her face. Yet, what really touched her heart and brought the tears was his sharing with her his fear that he wasn't showing his love, his affection, well enough. This honest admission reminds us that vulnerability is powerful – it deepens connections and strengthens couples' bonds. Love's beauty doesn't lie in perfection; it lies in those imperfections. It’s all about embracing those imperfections together. We've all experienced them; we all have them. We all want to get better at them.
Personalized guidance and support on taking care of your marriage is what I am offering to you… at no charge. Take the next step. Book your confidential 30-minute ‘Marriage Tune-Up’ call. It’s all about giving you input that will work best for you and your spouse. Schedule an appointment today: https://calendly.com/candy-buildingstrongermarriages.
Remember, your marriage is a precious gift! Nourish it, cherish it, and celebrate its uniqueness. As you move forward, know every effort, gesture, and loving moment matters. Keep shining love and light into your relationship. You've got this!
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