Healing Beyond Fixing: Boundaries, Breath, and the Practice of Returning to Self
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
By Nicole H. Ribet
There is a quote by the artist Sara Bareilles that says “The idea behind a kaleidoscope is that it’s a structure that’s filled with broken bits and pieces. Somehow if you can look through them, you still see something beautiful”. This is how I see people. The places we call “broken” are not flaws to be repaired. They are the very foundation of our uniqueness, resilience, and beauty. Therefore, healing is not about fixing ourselves. It is about softening the belief that we are broken in the first place.
So much of our culture is framed around self-improvement as correction. Fix the anxiety. Fix the trauma. Fix the habits. But this approach quietly reinforces the idea that something is fundamentally wrong with us. What I have seen time and again, personally and professionally, is that true healing begins only when we stop fighting who we are and start listening more deeply to ourselves. Growth still happens. Adjustment still happens. Old wounds are tended to where they still bleed. But the work is done from love, not fear. From compassion, not condemnation.
Research supports that by reframing in this way we are creating space for more grounded, sustainable healing. Practicing self-compassion is consistently linked to lower levels of anxiety and depression, increased emotional resilience, and healthier coping strategies. When we approach our inner experience with curiosity instead of judgment, our nervous system responds differently. We create safety. And safety is where healing actually takes root.
This is where boundaries become instrumental in supporting emotional growth and well-being. Often mistaken for rigid defenses or emotional walls, boundaries are actually mindful and dynamic tools for emotional regulation. They are the imaginary lines that allow us to remain connected without becoming overwhelmed. Boundaries protect us not only from the energy and opinions of others, but also from our own tendency to overextend, overidentify, or abandon ourselves.
However, boundaries require awareness. When drawn unconsciously, they can become walls; thick, light-blocking structures built on fear. When created with intention, they function more like windows; letting in connection, truth, and light while still honoring our limits. Research on boundary setting and assertiveness shows strong associations with improved self-esteem, reduced stress, and healthier relationships.
Boundaries are not about pushing others away. They are about honoring our needs. They give us the space that we need to keep our relationship with ourselves open and honest.
Mindfully returning to this relationship with self, beyond the ego and exterior noise, is the practice that keeps me most aligned. Breathwork is the root of that return. Our breath is the fastest way to calm our nervous system, slow our stress response, step out of ego and back into presence. A single, mindful inhale and slow release can interrupt anxiety and restore alignment. When meditating, sharing Reiki, listening to sound bowls, or soaking in a salt bath, the intention and foundation is always the same: to pause the spiral and come back to the breath.
Healing unfolds in the same way. It is not a destination, but a conscious practice. It is the repeated choice to meet ourselves with love instead of fear, curiosity instead of judgment, presence instead of projection. It is learning when to build boundaries and when to replace walls with windows, allowing the light of others in and openly sharing our own. It is remembering, especially in moments of discomfort, that we are not here to be perfected. We are here to learn and grow. And our most profound growth often blooms from the cracks that we once called broken.
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