Healing Out Loud:The Courage That Changed Everything
- Oct 3, 2025
- 2 min read
By Dr. Lulu
I was born in Nigeria, raised Catholic, trained as a pediatrician, and conditioned to be small, silent, and obedient. That’s how patriarchy works. That’s how colonization works. And for much of my life, I followed the script.
I did “the right thing.” I married a man. I had children. I served my country. I wore the white coat. I checked all the boxes.
But my life cracked open the day my eldest child, who was assigned male at birth, told me she is transgender. I was a pediatrician who had cared for thousands of children—but in that moment, I realized how much I still had to unlearn.
It wasn’t just fear that I felt—it was the quiet shock of my own internalized bias. I thought I knew what love looked like. I thought I was affirming. But the truth? I was comfortable. And comfort isn’t the same as courage.
I had a choice: I could cling to social respectability, or I could choose love. I chose my child.
That moment—standing fully in my daughter’s truth—was the beginning of my own. Her courage became my mirror. Her transition called me into mine. I came out publicly as the mother of a trans child, and eventually, as queer myself. That choice came with a price. Professionally. Socially. Personally.
Even today, my daughter and I are estranged. But I still speak her name with pride because her truth gave birth to mine.
I left clinical medicine. I stepped onto stages. I began to heal out loud. I gave three TEDx talks. I wrote books. About Your Black Transgender Child became a #1 Amazon bestseller. My next book, Allies in White Coats, helps healthcare professionals unlearn bias and relearn humanity. I speak to doctors about doing “no further” harm.
I’ve been featured on Oprah, CBS This Morning, Parents Magazine, and more. My podcast, Moms 4 Trans Kids, was just spotlighted at UK Black Pride.
And I haven’t stopped there.
I created TAHPPP—The Affirming Healthcare Professionals Prescription Program—to train clinicians in culturally humble, affirming care. I started a telehealth practice for LGBTQIA+ youth. I now coach other professionals and parents on how to show up—boldly, lovingly, and without apology—for queer lives. I’m building Dr. Lulu’s Pride Corner. I host Pride Open Mic nights. I’m building healing spaces wherever I go.
And yes, I still feel fear. Every time I speak my daughter’s name. Every time I say I’m queer in a room where I don’t know if I’ll be safe. But I do it anyway. Because courage is not the absence of fear—it’s the decision to act in spite of it.
They say you can’t heal what you hide. So I don’t hide. I speak. I shout. I sing. I write. I teach. I show up.
Because when I heal out loud, I give others permission to begin their own.
That’s what courage has done for me.
That’s what my daughter gave me.
That’s what I offer now to the world.
Connect With Dr. Lulu
Instagram: @themomatrician
Facebook: @DrLulu Angels Haven
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