How I Broke Free From Being a Total Introvert and Put More Fun in My Life
- Dec 3
- 3 min read
By Dr. Noelle Nelson
I went to the movies a while back with a friend. It was billed as an action-comedy film, and I was looking forward to some good laughs. I loved the comedy parts, but the constant crashes and explosions overwhelmed me.
In typical extrovert fashion, my friend was revved up by the action, recharged by every bang and boom. I, in typical introvert fashion, wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and recuperate from the nonstop sensory overload.
That’s the difference between an introvert and an extrovert. An introvert thrives on inner stimulation--thinking, quiet reading and silence. An extrovert thrives on outer stimulation--parties, people and socializing. Total opposites.
For many years, I used to hang out only with people whose personalities were similar to mine, doing the things that quiet folk enjoy. It made me comfortable. I never had to take chances and I always knew what to expect.
But it got boring. Sure, there’s a lot less anxiety when you know how any given situation is going to play out. There’s also a lot less fun, less newness, less adventure. Not that I ever wanted a lot of adventure, but a little would take the yawn out of my same-old, same-old life.
The result? Here am I, a die-hard introvert, realizing that if I wanted a full life, I had to stop playing it safe. I had to get out of my comfort zone and cultivate friendships with people opposite of me. I forced myself to develop interests in activities other than the nicely predictable.
I decided to enter competitive ballroom dancing. Learning ballroom dancing is a nice, quiet, introvert-perfect affair. But competition? That’s another story.
My initiation into competitive ballroom dancing would rattle any introvert. Imagine a ballroom jammed with cheering, screaming people, simultaneously yelling out encouragement to their favorite contestant at full volume to be heard over the loud, never-ending music. The first few competitions were so introvert-challenging that I couldn’t remember my steps and barely made it around the floor, hanging on for dear life to my partner--who afterward suggested gently, nursing a very sore hand, that a little less grip on my part would be advisable.
You’d think I’d run for the hills at that point: too many people, too much noise, too much stimulation. But amid it all, I had fun. It was the kind of fun I’d never experienced sitting on a beach reading a good book in quiet solitude. Instead, it was the kind of fun I’d had with my extroverted friend in the movie theatre laughing until my sides hurt.
Fun is what keeps me in the ballroom game. Fun is what makes me suck it up, learn how to engage with people radically different from myself, indulge in casual conversations about anything and everything (aka introvert-hell) and find the joy of dance amid the dizzying extroverted, somehow orderly, chaos of competition.
Try stepping out of your comfort zone—a little bit at a time. You will still be an introvert. Nothing will change that. What you will come to realize is that interacting and fostering friendships with people with all types of personalities can be wonderful. I now understand that the world is full of rich and diverse experiences we can each benefit from in one way or another. The more we appreciate and enjoy our differences, the more we enrich our own lives as well as the lives of others.
And yes, have a lot more fun along the way.
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