I Don’t Chase Wins Anymore. I Build Them Slowly
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
By Krystle Phillips
Five years ago, I thought winning meant staying upright.
If I could keep the businesses running, keep the bills paid, keep everyone else supported, I counted that as success. I was running on adrenaline and pride, mistaking survival for strength. Back then, success looked like outworking chaos, being faster than the problems, tougher than the setbacks, and resilient enough to absorb whatever came next.
Today, my definition of winning is very different.
Now, success means building a life and businesses I don’t need to recover from. It means clarity instead of constant urgency. It means systems that hold when I step back. It means having the courage to slow down, even when speed is rewarded.
That shift didn’t come easily. It came through loss.
The biggest “loss” of my life didn’t look like failure on paper. I didn’t lose everything. I didn’t disappear. What I lost was the version of myself who could survive anything. The woman who could push through exhaustion, carry everyone else’s weight, and still show up smiling. For a long time, that version of me was praised. People called her strong. Reliable. Unbreakable.
But she was also burning out quietly.
Caregiving, running multiple companies, and holding emotional responsibility for everyone around me forced a reckoning. I reached a point where perseverance stopped being noble and started being dangerous. I had to admit that surviving everything wasn’t the same as living well.
Letting go of that identity felt like failure at first. I worried I was becoming softer, less driven, less impressive. What I didn’t realise then was that losing the woman who survived everything was the only way I could become the woman who leads intentionally.
That loss became my greatest win.
It taught me that perseverance without direction is just endurance. Real perseverance has discernment. It knows when to push and when to pause.
It understands that strength isn’t proven by how much you can carry, but by what you choose not to.
Today, winning looks quieter. It looks like decisions made before crisis hits. It looks like boundaries that protect my energy and my work. It looks like choosing sustainability over spectacle.
And it looks like helping other women redefine winning for themselves.
In my work, I focus on building access, systems, and confidence for women who were never given a roadmap. Many of the women I work with are capable, talented, and deeply motivated but they’re navigating businesses, leadership, and life without support structures. They’re expected to figure everything out alone.
Winning is easier when you’re not walking alone.
I help women win by showing them that they don’t need to become superhuman to succeed. They need clarity. They need tools that reduce friction. They need systems that protect what they’re building. Most of all, they need permission to redefine success on their own terms.
The modern win isn’t about being the last one standing. It’s about building something that stands with you.
Perseverance still matters. But in this season of my life, it’s no longer about pushing through at all costs. It’s about staying long enough to enjoy what you’ve built.
That’s the win I’m chasing now.
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