I Survived My Marriage and then Made the Line of Divorce Cards I Needed
- Feb 19
- 3 min read
By Sharon Clark
When I got divorced, people were quick to say, “I’m sorry.” I was even faster to assure them, “I’m not.” It was my marriage that had taken me to such a dark place and the divorce that would light the way forward.
When my ex-husband finally moved out of the house, I could breathe deeply again. I could feel the self-preservation chemicals retreating. And yet, it felt like everywhere I went, divorce was seen as a failure, Giving up. The death of something. But for me it was something good and beautiful. It was hope and safety.
After more than 15 years, I had succeeded in seeing my husband clearly. I looked right through the facade and admitted I’d been fooled. Getting divorced was going to make every aspect of my life harder at first. That also meant I could be proud of myself for doing something hard.
Sometimes, divorce is something to be proud of.
Even though my circumstances were devastating, the freedom I received in my divorce meant I got a bold new chapter. The story was going to veer off in a new direction. Inconvenient at my age, but exciting none the less. And given what I’d learned about him, absolutely necessary.
I imagined this scenario playing out when women didn’t have the freedom to leave marriages that threatened their safety and stability. It felt like the walls were closing in on me each time I thought of it.
I’d joined a sisterhood rooted in hard-earned wisdom.
The people who did get it and helped me celebrate? Other divorced women. I received a professional cake with buttercream frosting and a celebratory cake topper. I joked with a woman at the DMV to be careful with my divorce decree because it was my prized possession. Her response was a knowing belly laugh.
I laughed and told a friend we needed a greeting card that says, “It’s not your fault you didn’t know he was a narcissist.”And after we stopped laughing, I realized I had all the skills to make it happen.
We deserve divorce messages that cover the whole range of emotions, including joy, rage, fear, sadness, and much more.
One day I got a text from a friend whose ex-husband’s betrayal completely hollowed her out.
Even though she filed, it didn’t feel triumphant. “I completely support what you’re doing with the divorce greeting cards,” she said, “But have you thought about making one that has to do with the heartbreak?”
I texted her back, “What if I wrote a card that says: My heart hurts for you because you didn’t sign up for this. You didn’t think you’d be walking this road alone and none of this feels right. But what you need to know is…My heart also sings for you, because on the other side of the sadness and doubt, past the anger and shock is a life more beautiful and worthy of you than you could ever dream.”
She texted back: “YES!!!! I would have been bawling like a baby if someone had sent me that.” So I made the card, just in case someone out there needs it.
A card is a lot more than a paper note or even the message it carries. It tells someone “I see you,” when they feel most invisible. It’s support and loyalty. It’s tangible proof of someone in your corner, so no one has to go on life’s difficult journeys all alone.
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