Leadership & Emotional Intelligence
- Jun 7
- 3 min read
By Rebecca Doppelt
Leadership can take many forms. Some lead through intimidation and fear, creating insecurity in the workforce. This results in demotivation, high staff turnover and diminished returns. Others choose to model their desired behavior and empower those around them. This form of leadership fosters loyalty and increases motivation. The latter leadership style requires high emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, often abbreviated as EQ, is the ability to identify and regulate our own emotions in each moment, in addition to perceiving the emotions of others. This is integral to effective leadership.
Let’s break it down:
A leader who cannot identify their own emotions risks projecting their feelings onto others. This can look like blame-shifting, criticism or assuming poor intentions. All these behaviors contribute to a fear-based environment.
Many leaders believe that fear and intimidation are essential for control. This is not supported by evidence. When people are in a fear state, their brains register threat, ie- “fight or flight.” When danger is perceived, the prefrontal cortex diverts focus to the amygdala. In other words, the brain’s capacity for learning new information decreases in favor of survival. In these environments, workers are more likely to need instructions to be repeated, will struggle with information retention, disengagement and are likely to seek less stressful employment opportunities.
Low self-awareness is directly correlated to poor emotion regulation. This is the volatile boss who screams, throws things, behaves like a toddler. Any leader with this temperament engenders a sense of hypervigilance, “walking on eggshells.” A low EQ leader may not intentionally use fear as part of their leadership style, but their lack of self-control creates tension, nonetheless. As with a leader who deliberately uses fear for control, anyone who is unpredictable creates a chaotic and unstable situation for those they are leading.
Empathy allows leaders to put themselves in the shoes of those they are leading. Self-awareness increases a person’s ability to confront their own biases and decrease defensiveness. These qualities build trust and allow for an overall feeling of safety. When the brain recognizes safety, motivation and creativity increases. This is evident in overall work outputs.
This is not to say that empathic leadership is without balance. A firm but gentle approach is considered the most effective. An empathic leader will clearly communicate expectations, ensuring group understanding, and enforce adjustments as needed. In today’s environment, this might require a leader to revise their communication style based on their audience. Not everyone on a team will understand a uniform direction. An empathic leader will have more than one tool for conveying instructions and will do so without exasperation.
This same leader is prepared to hold boundaries as needed.
An emotionally intelligent leader who assumes good intentions will approach performance concerns with curiosity, not judgement. Often, reiterating expectations directly will aid an employee to change their behavior. When necessary, a leader can invite an underperforming employee to collaborate on the solution to assist in their ability to meet their required expectations. This has been proven effective in workplace and school settings.
A leader with high EQ understands that strength is synonymous with flexibility. A rigid leader will snap under pressure. Think of buildings in an earthquake: unyielding structures crumble yet the ones built to sway withstand the shockwaves. This adaptability allows for balance and strength. Leaders with these qualities are the most effective and resilient.
The most impactful leadership style is one that empowers all members of the team. This requires high emotional-intelligence and all that entails: self-awareness, emotion-regulation, empathy and flexibility. Leaders who embody these characteristics inspire loyalty, motivation and measurable results.
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