Leggings, Blazers, and Behavior: A fresh look at presence, travel, and the science behind how clothes influence our actions
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
By Mary Bouras
Every so often, a headline pops up that sends everyone into a spirited debate. The recent discussion around a proposed “dress code for flights” did exactly that. Some people cheered. Others groaned. And many of us landed somewhere in the middle — intrigued, confused, and maybe a little curious about whether clothes really can change the way we behave in public.
I couldn’t help but think back to a memory from the mid-90s, when I was in college.
A friend asked me for a ride to the airport. She climbed into my car in a cute skirt, tights, polished shoes, and a jacket that looked far more “business meeting” than “middle seat in coach.” I told her she looked great and admitted I’d never once dressed up for a flight.
She smiled and said, “My mom always told me to look my best when I travel. You never know who you’ll meet.”
At nineteen, it felt quaint — maybe even unnecessary.
Travel was about comfort, backpacks, and grabbing whatever was clean. But years later, after working in protocol, events, and professional development, I can see where her mother was coming from. There was wisdom in the idea of showing up with intention.
But here’s where the conversation gets interesting.
Will dressing better actually stop someone from treating others poorly on a flight?
Will a blazer prevent someone from cutting the boarding line?
Will polished shoes stop someone from reclining their seat without warning, or from snapping at a flight attendant?
I’d love to say yes.
I’m not convinced they will.
There’s research behind the idea that clothing shapes mindset. Psychologists call it “enclothed cognition,” which is a fancy way of saying that what we wear can influence how we think, feel, and behave. And that’s true — to a point. A purposeful outfit might make you feel more put-together. It may help you stay calmer in stressful situations. It might encourage a bit more awareness.
But clothing alone can’t replace consideration.
Or empathy.
Or self-control.
We’ve all seen beautifully dressed people behave terribly. And we’ve seen casually dressed people — yes, even in leggings — go out of their way to be kind, patient, and respectful.
So what does that tell us?
That etiquette has never really been about outfits. It’s always been about behavior.
Which brings me back to air travel. Flying today pushes most of us to our limits: long lines, tight connections, delays, crowds, very little personal space. When people behave poorly in these moments, it’s rarely because of what they’re wearing. It’s because they’re overwhelmed, distracted, or simply unaware of how their actions affect others.
No dress code can fix that.
But here’s what dressing with intention can do:
It reminds us that we are part of a shared experience. It nudges us toward being just a little more mindful. It signals, even quietly to ourselves, “I want to show up well.”
And that matters — not because clothes transform us, but because intention often does.
When I think back to my college friend, I now understand that she wasn’t dressing up to impress anyone. She was dressing in a way that helped her feel grounded. Confident. Ready. Her outfit wasn’t about performance. It was about presence.
And maybe that’s the real takeaway from this entire debate.
A polished outfit won’t magically turn a rude traveler into a considerate one. But showing up with awareness — whether in leggings, a blazer, or something in between —absolutely can.
Good etiquette isn’t about strict rules or judgment. It’s about recognizing that our choices ripple outward. It’s about kindness in cramped quarters. It’s about remembering that the stranger beside you is experiencing the same delays, frustrations, and tiny plastic cups of water.
Travel isn’t glamorous anymore, but it still offers moments of possibility: the chance to be patient, the chance to be gracious, the chance to make a stressful environment more bearable for someone else.
Clothes can set the tone, yes.
But our character determines the behavior.
Presence doesn’t require perfection or a polished outfit.
It only requires intention — and a little awareness of the world around us.
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