Not as Strong as I Think I Am
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
By Jerry Hoffmann
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Forged in the fires of human passion, choking on the fumes of selfish rage. And with these our hells and our heavens, so few inches apart, we must be awfully small, and not as strong as we think we are.
– Rich Mullins
Perspective is powerful. I start most every day by reminding myself that I’m not in control— and that I’m not meant to be. Then remembering and thanking the One who is. Then I turn to my Bible and spend a few minutes reading while drinking my coffee, and praying either by myself or with my wife. Some mornings that prayer feels strong and focused and I feel connected to God in a powerful way. Other mornings it’s clumsy and distracted. But I think the consistency matters even when I don’t feel like it. Perhaps especially then.
The life of an entrepreneur/founder is a wild rollercoaster ride of emotional highs and lows. There are days when I feel I’m on top of the world, and days I feel like I’m just failing in slow motion. Days when I’m confident things are moving in the right direction, and days when I’m wondering if I missed God’s lead somehow. That short distance between your head and your heart can become a vast chasm to get lost in. You can know in your head that you’re where you’re called to be, doing what you’re called to do, and equipped to do it. But your heart, well, it will often try to pull you in another direction, of endless questioning, discouragement, and confusion.
We must capture that thought every time it comes and make it obedient to Christ, just as I read somewhere. The heart is not to be followed, but to be guarded, and to be lead. We can follow our hearts to the darkest of places, but the Bible teaches us not to follow our heart, but to be aware that our feelings can mislead us, and can attack us and trap us in an emotional muck that can be hard to escape, until you submit those cares to your creator, and consciously choose to trust Him, and not yourself, in those moments. And in trusting Him… to press on.
Oh, and you might have to do it again tomorrow.
The God of the Bible tells us on about 15 different occasions to ‘Be strong and courageous’ or to ‘be of good courage’. Courage is not courage at all unless you have something to otherwise be afraid of. It’s looking at something scary that’s in front of you, picking up your tools you’ve been given, and tackling it head on. Uncertain of the exact outcome perhaps, but trusting that He who cares for you, has got you. It’s my job to show up and to worship Him in gratitude and awestruck wonder of who He is. I may plant the seed. I may water it, feed it, and weed it. But it’s God’s role to make it grow. His strength is made perfect in weakness. And I will trust in Him. He never fails. And in knowing that, I’m taking the fears of my heart captive and making them obedient to His truth by submitting them to my creator who cares for me and trusting Him with the outcome - It is well with my soul.
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