by Suzanne Plumley
It's often reported that many autistic women may seek solitude after a workday, especially if their job involves interacting with colleagues or the public, due to the stress and anxiety such interactions can cause. However, this isn't universally true, particularly for an autistic woman who may not have been aware of her diagnosis for the first fifty years of her life.
A woman diagnosed late with Autism is not one who suddenly discovers her condition, but rather one who comes to realize, often through an informed friend or coworker, that the traits causing concern are actually part of the broader Autism Spectrum. Women who completed their public schooling and possibly undergraduate studies before 2008 were often misdiagnosed with a different comorbidity, such as clinical depression, as Autism was not commonly recognized in the medical or educational fields, particularly in relation to women.
This is my story: at the age of seven, I realized that my behavior was markedly different from that of my brothers and classmates. I was often labeled as shy or odd. Throughout most of the 1970s, I wore glasses, and at that time, signs of a disability were typically physical aids like eyewear, hearing aids, crutches, or wheelchairs. No one considered internal factors like self-esteem or sensitivities to noise and smell or other sensory intolerances, which affected my learning. As a young student, I adored reading, and my preference for reading quietly over playing outside during recess didn't seem to concern anyone. However, in fourth grade, I remember blushing furiously when a girl broke the line-up rules for a four-square game. I got into trouble and faced bullying for pushing her back to where she should have waited her turn. My sense of rules and justice was an integral part of my ethics, even back then. Even with my quiet demeanor, until rules were broken, did it cause any alarm for me to be further evaluated for mental health abnormalties. My ability to read well, as mentioned, meant that I did not attend any special reading programs which were the only in school special education classes offered. I progressed through public school with moderately decent grades, graduated in the top third of my class of 166, and even found my safe home in the music program. I had quickly advanced from a shy choral and beginner clarinetist to an award winning senior choral student and a first clarinetist. Music is very strong trait for Autistic women.Â
After graduating from college, I began to feel the weight of my differences and faced numerous challenges in securing teaching positions. It wasn't a question of my capabilities, but rather the increasing competition between a neurotypical woman and a woman with neurodiverse behavior during interviews. This often left me feeling depressed when I was overlooked for teaching roles, prompting me to seek therapy, particularly after my marriage to a man who also struggled with his identity ended. Reflecting on the eight years of therapy, it's astonishing that the possibility of Autism was never considered, especially since it was after 2008 when Dr. Tony Attwood, a leading psychologist, acknowledged that women too could be on the Autism Spectrum.
My life transformed after meeting a mentor who introduced me to a new way of thinking, turning my daydreaming into what she termed 'acute visioneering' abilities. She seemed to understand me in ways that my family and society couldn't. I was given the chance to envision a future tailored to a life I would cherish. This ability, though rare among her clients, was a distinct characteristic of Autism. Over six years, I progressed from low self-esteem and feeling insignificant to being appreciated for my unique visual talents. I moved from therapy to joining a revolutionary thought movement, opening up vast possibilities for those who transcended their conditions, circumstances, and situations, collaborating with a Higher Power to craft a life they truly loved across four life quadrants.
Connect with Suzanne
YouTube - "The Aspie Bridge" podcast show
Coming Soon: New website - EnrichingLifestyles LLC
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