Strength through motherhood:My Journey with Two Medically Complex Children
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
By Shaye Bergman
Becoming a mother changes you in ways you can never fully prepare for. When I had my daughter, I imagined sleepless nights, first giggles, and learning the ropes of caring for a tiny human. I never imagined epilepsy becoming part of our daily vocabulary. Her seizures began early, and suddenly my life became a rotation of doctors’ appointments, emergency visits, and reading every subtle sign in her body language. It was terrifying, overwhelming, and heartbreaking but I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart. My daughter needed me to be her anchor, so I chose strength every day, even when I myself didn’t feel like it.
I learned to research medications, advocate for her needs, and remain calm in moments that would have once left me frozen. The world outside didn’t stop turning. I still had bills to pay, clients to serve, and a career to keep afloat as a full-time hairstylist in a small town. My love for my daughter gave me the drive to push forward. Each day behind the chair, I carried both the weight of my personal battles and the responsibility to be present for every person who sat in front of me.
Just as life felt like it was finding a rhythm, I became pregnant with my second child. I wanted so badly for his arrival to be a smooth, healing experience after all we’d been through. But life had other plans. During my pregnancy, I learned he had intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). I knew what that meant more doctors, more risks, more uncertainty. My heart sank, but my resolve stayed firm. I had faced medical challenges before, and I would face them again.
The day he was born, he was small and fragile. Instead of going home together, he went straight to the NICU. Walking out of the hospital without my baby in my arms was a pain I can’t fully describe. The NICU was filled with the hum of machines and the quiet determination of parents willing their children to grow stronger. Every visit, I spoke softly to him, told him how much he was loved, and prayed he could feel my strength through the incubator walls.
At the same time, I still had to be there for my daughter managing her care, keeping her life as joyful as possible. I kept dreading how long he was staying in the nicu because as self employed hairstylist my maternity leave was out of my own pocket and the time I had off was limited and I wanted to experience a real maternity leave off with him at home with his sister.
Through it all, I learned that strength doesn’t always feel like bravery it often feels like doing what has to be done even when you’re exhausted, scared, and unsure. My children have taught me that love can carry you through moments you never thought you’d survive. I’ve learned to adapt, to find joy in small victories, and to measure progress not by perfection, but by resilience.
Now, as I look at my daughter growing, laughing, and living fully despite her epilepsy and my son stronger every day after his NICU stay I see the living proof of why I couldn’t give up. My journey as a mother hasn’t been easy, but it has shaped me into someone who can face the unexpected with courage.
In the quiet moments, I still feel the weight of it all, but I also feel pride. I’ve been the steady force my children needed, the voice that advocates for them, the hands that hold them through fear, and the heart that refuses to stop fighting. Motherhood has tested me, but it has also revealed a strength I never knew I had. And for that, I’m grateful.
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