The ‘Cosmic Bitch Slap’ That Saved Her Life: How CJ Scarlet Turned Trauma into Triumph
- Aug 8
- 2 min read
CJ Scarlet was dying. Years of trauma and anxiety from childhood sexual abuse, two rapes as a college freshman, and a narrow escape from a sex trafficking ring at the age of 19, left her grappling with severe PTSD.
By 1990, the dark secrets CJ held and the stress they caused led her to develop several life-threatening autoimmune conditions which, in 2002, left her fighting for her life. Then, in 2004, she was told her condition was terminal.
CJ became deeply depressed and anxious about her impending heart failure, and she became so debilitated she had to crawl on her hands and knees to climb the stairs; she couldn’t even lift a cup of coffee or hold a hairbrush.
Then CJ was offered the chance to meet privately with a Tibetan Buddhist lama who was the resident teacher at a local temple. She hobbled up to the lama and made a pitiful bow, and waited for him to shower her with sympathy.
And THAT’s when CJ learned that lamas don’t do dramas! Instead, the lama gave her a cosmic bitch slap that changed the course of her life. He kindly but sternly commanded her to “stop feeling sorry for herself and start thinking of the happiness of other people.”
Daunted but determined, CJ began performing small acts of kindness—letting the mom with the crying baby go ahead of her in line, giving her cane to a woman who was struggling to walk, and volunteering at the Red Cross after Hurricane Katrina. These simple gestures made her feel a bit happier, so she did more, performing at least one kind act every day.
And the more CJ did the better she felt, until she reached a point where her heart was so full it no longer mattered whether she was sick or well, or even living or dying—she was filled with gratitude for each moment.
At that point, her condition went into remission – all within 18 months! Today, 21 years later, CJ feels better and happier than she ever dreamed possible, and she’s thriving both personally and professionally.
Known as the “Badass Grandma,” CJ is a kid safety crusader and
award-winning author of five books. She’s appeared on numerous radio and television programs, including MSNBC, PBS, and NPR’s The State of Things.
She recently launched a powerful online course for parents that teaches them how to empower kids to avoid bullies and predators and defend themselves from assaults. Next, CJ’s company is building a cutting-edge safety game app for kids 5 to 17.
The former roller-skating carhop, U.S. Marine photojournalist, and forest firefighter holds a B.A. in Political Science from Virginia Wesleyan College and a master’s degree in Humanities with an emphasis on human violence from Old Dominion University.
Named one of the “Happy 100” people on the planet, CJ’s story of triumph over adversity is featured in several bestselling books, including Happy for No Reason and Be Invincible.
CJ Scarlet can be reached at cj@TheBadassGrandma.com.
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