The Day I Realized There Are Worse Things Than Being Alone

Aug 11, 2025
3 min read

By Calvalyn Day MsEd, TICC

Picture it. Pregnant at 14. Married at 19. By 40, the marriage was unraveling fast. On paper, my life looked like a series of choices made too young and too fast, and in many ways, it was. There were good moments, sure, but overall, my marriage was not healthy for any of us.

And yet, I stayed.

I stayed because that’s what I was supposed to do. I stayed because leaving felt selfish. I stayed because I was terrified of what I would lose if I left, stability, a shared household, the idea of family I had fought so hard to create after becoming a teen mom.

But one ordinary afternoon, everything changed.

My then-husband had just lost another job, and I was stretching my paychecks to keep us afloat. I was exhausted, disappointed in myself after a failed attempt at building my business, and I desperately wanted, just for once, to feel the support I had been offering to him.

What I got instead was distraction and annoyance.

In that moment, something inside me woke up.

For years, I had focused on what I would lose if I left. But suddenly, it hit me like a wave, what was I losing by staying?

My peace.

My joy.

My chance to show my children what it looked like to choose yourself.

I realized that while leaving wouldn’t be easy, there were things I could gain by walking out the door: self-respect, freedom, and the possibility of a better life.

And that’s when I decided. There are worse things than being alone.

That was my from pain to power moment, the moment I stopped hoping someone else would change and decided to change everything myself.

If you had asked me years ago what being unstoppable meant, I would have rattled off accomplishments: straight-A student, rule-follower, high achiever.

But now? Being unstoppable means something very different.

It’s not about performing or proving. It’s about protecting my peace, joy, and quality of life like my future depends on it, because it does.

Being unstoppable means believing that failure isn’t final or fatal. It means knowing success belongs to the person who’s willing to keep learning and growing, even when the path is messy, even when it feels like starting over.

I used to think strength was about holding on no matter what. Now I know that sometimes it’s about letting go.

If I could go back and talk to the version of me who felt stuck, tired, and ready to quit, I’d shake her by the shoulders and say:

WAKE UP.

As hard as this is, staying stuck is way harder.

Leaving wasn’t easy. Starting over wasn’t easy. Building a business as a single mom wasn’t easy. But every step forward has been worth it, because I’m not just surviving anymore. In life, you have to choose your hard, and even on the worst day, this hard is one I’m happy I chose.

That moment in my kitchen, asking for empathy and receiving indifference instead, felt devastating at the time. But it forced me to see the truth: no one was coming to save me.

And maybe that’s the power in all of our stories, the moment we start seeing ourselves as capable, we suddenly become exactly that.

So if you’re standing in your own painful moment right now, wondering if you should hold on or finally let go, here’s what I’ll tell you: there are worse things than being alone, and there are better things waiting when you choose yourself.

Your power starts the second you believe you’re worth more than “stuck.”

Are you facing a challenging decision right now shoot me a message and tell me what power you’re leaning into to get to the other side.

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