The Power of Etiquette: Your Hidden Superpower
- Oct 3, 2025
- 3 min read
By Mary Bouras
When you hear the word etiquette, what comes to mind? For many people, it’s a list of old-fashioned rules about how to set the table or whether your pinky should be up when drinking tea. But the truth is, etiquette is in everything we do.
Walking into a room. Shaking hands. Eating with others. Following meeting rules. Even knowing when to speak up and when to listen. You may not think there’s etiquette involved, but there is. And once you know it, you’ll find it’s not about being perfect or stuffy—it’s about showing up with confidence, putting others at ease, and getting invitations to bigger tables.
The Bigger Table
Opportunities don’t always appear as job postings or formal announcements. Sometimes they come as a quiet invitation: Join us for this meeting. Come sit with us. We’d love your input at the table.
Those “bigger tables” can be a literal boardroom, a client dinner, or even an international event. The women who get those invitations are the ones people trust to handle themselves with professionalism, grace, and confidence. That’s etiquette at work.
Etiquette is what allows you to sit at the table without worrying about the small things. It frees you from second-guessing so you can focus on making an impact. It’s not about memorizing every possible rule—it’s about knowing how to respect yourself and others in a way that inspires trust.
Respect for Yourself and for Others
At its heart, etiquette is respect. Respect for yourself—walking into a room with confidence and presence. And respect for others—making them feel seen, included, and valued.
Think about it: when you hold the door, use someone’s name in conversation, or listen without checking your phone, you’re sending a clear message: You matter. Those small choices are powerful. They build connection, and connection builds trust. Trust is the real key that gets you invited to the bigger tables.
And here’s the best part—when you’re at ease, you put others at ease.
That’s what makes you memorable. People want to work with, promote, and collaborate with those who make them feel comfortable.
A Lesson From Protocol
I learned this firsthand in my work in military protocol. At one major international summit, I was responsible for coordinating the arrivals and departures of world leaders and their delegations. My role was to organize the greeting parties—senior military leaders and senior government officials—who officially welcomed each head of state.
There wasn’t time to stumble or get flustered. Every gesture mattered. The way I coordinated the order of movement, guided leaders to their positions, and ensured each person was acknowledged appropriately—all of it communicated calm and confidence.
In moments like that, etiquette isn’t about which fork you use. It’s about poise. It’s about respect for the positions those leaders held, while also having respect for myself—trusting that I was prepared, capable, and confident. That combination of self-respect and respect for others made me someone they could rely on. And because of that, I kept getting asked to take on bigger roles and represent in higher-level situations.
That’s the real power of etiquette. It’s not a set of rules to memorize—it’s a toolkit for showing up in a way that builds credibility and opens doors.
Three Etiquette Moves That Elevate You Instantly
Own your entrance. Don’t just walk into a room—pause, scan, smile, then step in with intention. This small shift shows confidence (self-respect) and helps others feel at ease because you look approachable.
Make it about them. When you meet someone, use their name in conversation and ask a thoughtful question about them. People remember how you made them feel more than what you said. This simple act builds trust and earns you repeat invitations.
Be the bridge. Great leaders connect people. Introducing two others—“You both work in international business, you should meet” positions you as thoughtful, inclusive, and someone others want at the table.
Why It Matters Now
For women especially, the bigger table isn’t just about career advancement. It’s about influence. It’s about making sure your voice and perspective are included in decisions that matter. And etiquette—the ability to handle yourself with confidence while also putting others at ease—is the superpower that gets you there.
Bottom line: Etiquette is respect. It’s confidence paired with consideration. It’s the unspoken edge that makes people remember you, trust you, and invite you back.
When you show up that way, doors open and invitations to bigger tables start coming your way. At those tables, you’re not just present—you’re powerful.
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