by Kwan Patton
My name is Kwan Patton, and I am a Licensed Mental Health Therapist dedicated to fostering self-love as a pathway to healing and empowerment. I am reaching out to share insights and personal experiences that can resonate with your readers who may be struggling with mental health challenges.
The importance of self-love in mental health
Self love is something that should be so seamless, yet it’s also something so many of us struggle with! From as early as I can remember, I always struggled with feelings of unworthiness, and during my spiritual awakening, I also reflected on my past steps and realized not only did I not value and love myself, I also manifested people in my life who treated me the way I treated myself. Self love starts from an internal perspective; meaning everything that we feel about ourselves is what our external life will look like (this is SO important to understand). The journey to self love is one that can sometimes feel very lonely, because it requires us to remove everything that does not “feel” good. This includes people, places and/or things.
This journey involves removing all things that create chaos or uncertainty in our lives, and this can be challenging for many individuals because oftentimes we get complacent with “things” and “people.” For instance, ushering self love means standing up for yourself, it means creating a space in your life free from people who carry negative feelings, free from alcohol or substances that do not serve you, it means clearing yourself from everything that does not feel good to your soul in order to bring clarity; and this is extremely difficult which is why so many people remain at the job they hate, or stay in there toxic relationships, or drink/use consistently to cover the pain from all the external factors that keep us stuck and in a sleep state!
It takes a lot of power and courage from WITHIN to remove all these things, and YES, it feels lonely because self love also requires you to isolate yourself in order to truly hear your internal compass! It’s not to say you need to get rid of everyone, but when you isolate from all of these things, you can hear your internal voice so clearly and THAT is where your true self love resides. Isolation helps you to begin to trust yourself and your own guidance and opinions.
Once I understood this process, I began removing the chains around me; meaning, the thoughts, opinions and judgments of others…I stopped caring, and quieted the noise around me so that I can truly understand what it means to follow my own internal GPS! I once read a meme that states, “stop asking people for directions to places they’ve never been!” This statement gave me chills because it resonates so much to my journey!
Self-love is a personal voyage, filled with ups and downs! It’s imperative to be kind and patient with yourself during this season of growth because you will experience variations of emotions, and you will second guess yourself a lot. When I removed myself from everyone, I began to seek the things that once felt good to me; sitting by a body of water calms me and makes me feel safe! When I say safe, I mean being around people and places that make your nervous system calm. Look for things and people that make you feel safe (this is where you will begin to hear your inner dialogue, the window to your soul) so find things that interest you and decreases anxiety. In other words, pay attention to your body, it tells you when you are in the wrong company.
Always remember to follow what feels right to you and true to your spirit. At the end of each day, only YOU know your thoughts and motives, so be honest with yourself and learn to get comfortable with the good, the bad and the ugly of it all!
Self love is not only saying no to others, but it’s also honoring SELF! When you begin to understand the power and steps in loving yourself, you begin to manifest all the good things and people in your life! You will begin to feel differently, and the things that once interest you, no longer feel aligned with your new purpose! You wake up with joy in your spirit because the negative energy (what I like to call “pockets of pain”) of past childhood trauma, rejected feelings and all the ugly feelings no longer resonate with your soul! You are now being connected to your soul, a soul that only resonates with positive energy and feelings.
THIS is when that INTERNAL peace and happiness sets in. It’s a lot of work, and it involves removing ego and looking in the mirror at the things YOU need to change! Self love has nothing to do with all the things that happened to you in your life or the people who created it, it’s about recognizing the things you can change about YOU…and only then can you attract better things (your mental health should be as important as visiting your primary doctor). When your life begins to fall apart, LET IT! Your spiritual team is receiving your message of change, and that’s when everything begins.
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