Turning point: The moment I decided to rise
- Feb 13
- 3 min read
By Biana Lerman
My turning point was the year I lost my mom, took time off, and then returned to a job that showed me exactly what I would never tolerate again.
The first sign I couldn’t “power through” anymore happened while I was visiting my mom in the hospital. She was dying and my boss (at the time) asked if I wanted her to send me some work “to keep my mind off things.” I don’t think she meant harm. Work probably helped her cope, but in that moment it hit me: work was the furthest thing from my mind. I didn’t need marketing campaigns or biz dev lists. I needed to be with my family and say goodbye to the woman who brought me into this world. That was the moment I stopped treating burnout like a normal cost of being ambitious.
After time off, I returned to work thinking I was ready. Instead, I walked into a chaotic, reactive, emotionally unsafe environment.
First moment: internal communication was completely broken. People weren’t clear on what was expected, mistakes were punished fast, and everyone seemed tense. I called the owner into my office because I genuinely wanted to help. I told him I was strong in process and communication, and I put together a simple two-page plan. He started executing parts of it without ever talking to me. Then, in a meeting with directors, he admitted he “hated” me for bringing it up, that's after telling me privately those same problems kept him up at night. That’s when I realized the issue wasn’t just the systems. It was ego. Honesty threatened his reputation more than dysfunction threatened his business.
Second moment: I was transferred to work under his partner on a brand I knew nothing about. I tried to be proactive and sent an email outlining how I saw my role, how I could support the team, and where I hoped to grow. I don’t think he read it. He was proud of not reading long emails. I felt like a pawn with no say in my future.
I tried to fix structure, process, and communication, but it was a battle I wasn’t going to win. I also needed the income, so I went quiet and waited for the exit. I didn’t get unemployment, but I did get a few extra months of pay and a lesson I won’t forget: I’m a cautionary tale of what happens when leaders don’t respect the people trying to help them build their dreams.
That’s what pushed me to build something different. I opened my company with my partner, Mason Phillips. We run Your HS Expert, and it's the best decision I’ve ever made because I finally get to build the kind of workplace I wish I’d had. A place that's clear, human, and built on trust.
Biggest myth about “having it all”
The myth is that “having it all” means carrying everything at the same time and making it look easy. Especially as a woman, it can turn into being the emotional buffer, the fixer, the peacekeeper, and still being expected to smile. For me, “having it all” now means having a life and career that don’t require me to abandon myself to succeed.
How I stay unstoppable when challenges return
I keep it practical: I slow down before making changes, I get crystal clear on expectations and ownership, and I address issues directly without pretending everything is fine. I don’t do toxic positivity. And I protect my own bandwidth so I’m not making decisions from panic. A simple safety net like money, time, support,and options really changes how you are able to lead.
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