Unstoppable: Rising Above Trauma and Embracing Resilience
- Aug 6
- 3 min read
By Shari Botwin, LCSW
There was a defining moment in my life that changed everything. Standing in my childhood home as a young adult, I was overwhelmed by memories of enduring years of child sexual abuse. It felt like my world had been turned upside down. However, I fought back with unwavering determination, spending the next several years in intensive trauma therapy. I held onto the belief that one day, my voice would be heard. Embracing the truth, I found a community of supporters who stood by me through the darkest times. For the first time, I felt truly seen and heard. By forging deep connections with my therapist, friends, and colleagues, I rose above shame and despair, emerging stronger and more resilient than ever before. I spent nearly a decade in intensive trauma therapy, fighting for the life I had imagined as a child and teenager. I longed for people who would accept, love, support, and believe in me. During my childhood, I connected with some loving women who served as mother figures. By the age of thirteen, I knew my life was a mess, and I had to hold onto hope and find ways to stay sane.
Being unstoppable means finding ways to not let years of betrayal and abuse take away my ability to be fully present in my life today. It means transforming years of pain and shame into moments of empowerment, joy, and resilience. While I may continue to battle symptoms of PTSD and depression, I choose not to let these feelings prevent me from living a life of purpose and meaning. Every day, as I counsel clients, go on air, and testify as an expert witness in court, I remind myself that this is what happens when I stay committed to my healing journey.
Being unstoppable means loving and parenting my fourteen-year-old child, creating a safe space where he can have a meaningful childhood. It was not until I became a parent that I fully realized what it means to protect and love a child. I remember those first few years as a parent, and how scared I was to give him a bath or change his diapers. I have countless memories of grasping his thumb as I gave him nebulizer treatments in the middle of the night to manage his asthma. While I was saddened by his chronic medical condition, I found joy and hope in proving to myself that just because I was abused by my parents, it does not mean I would go on to abuse my only son. I rejoiced in breaking the cycle of abuse in my family of origin.
Though my fight to reclaim my right to live a full life is far from over, I remind myself every day that anything is possible.
Even now, I sometimes get overwhelmed by flashbacks, shame, grief, anger, and depression. Rather than succumb to despair, I fight daily to stay focused on moving forward. I dedicate time, sometimes hours each day, to nurture and love the younger part of myself that felt betrayed, discarded, and abused. I hold onto images of love and offer those feelings to my younger self. I have learned to parent my younger self. I talk to myself and take time each day to connect with my purpose in the present. I continue to work towards my goals both professionally and personally. I speak statements of truth to myself and offer those words to the part of me that survived years of abuse as a child and teenager. I tell myself, "You did it. You never let go of the part of you that fought to stay alive during your childhood. You are worthy of love, and it was never your fault that your parents couldn't love you the way you deserved. You triumphed, and you are unstoppable!"
Connect With Shari
Comments