We're Not Faking It!
- Apr 7
- 3 min read
By Andrea Chrysanthou
‘Fake it ‘till you make it.’ How I hate hearing women use that phrase!
It assumes we are pretending. It reinforces a lie many women have been taught, often quietly and over time, that our expertise is somehow “less-than.”
This is often described as the "self-promotion gap.” Women are less likely than men to highlight their achievements, not because we have fewer of them, but because of modesty norms, fear of backlash, or lower confidence in our performance.
As head of Amplify, a communications and public relations firm in Toronto, Canada, I am assertive of the work I deliver for my clients. My success speaks for itself, but speaking about myself, as opposed to the “work,” has not always come easy for me.
This sense of “unworthiness” is something I had to unlearn. Because I went into PR from journalism and didn’t have a formal communications educational, I felt inferior. This is despite the fact that my media campaigns always exceeded expectations and I have won several industry awards for my work.
To remove this self-doubt, I took an accreditation course in public relations through the Canadian Public Relations Society. When I received my accreditation, the uncertainty faded, not because I learned anything new, but I realized I already knew what I was doing. I was already good. Actually, I was great.
Almost immediately I became bolder and more unapologetic about my experience. I stopped shrinking my language. I stopped qualifying my success. And I stopped waiting for permission to take up space.
This is something I now actively teach other women, especially new graduates.
Bravado comes more easily for men. They can talk about their accolades without the same kind of fear of being labeled arrogant or unqualified. In fact, a National Bureau of Economic Research working paper found that when men and women performed equally on tests, men rated their performance significantly higher than women did.
Clients, employers and society in general want to hire/work with/engage with people who are confident and capable. When women do not talk about their successes, we lose opportunities to men who are more than willing to fill the room with their accomplishments.
When I started Amplify two years ago, I had already been thinking about opening my own public relations firm but struggled with the courage. Once I did, people I had worked with in previous roles were the first to find me and ask to be my clients. My work spoke for itself. They trusted me and they had been paying attention to my self-promotion!
I had been publicizing my success on LinkedIn. Yes, the self-promotion felt a little shameless, but it worked.
As a public relations professional, my job is to promote my clients. My most important client is me, so I actively promote myself.
This confidence should be second nature for women, but we are all at different stages of our “unlearning” of society’s expectations of how we should behave as women.
To the women who are still working through their journeys, I urge you to:
Acknowledge you are already amazing, even if you still have more to learn.
Think of yourself as a project or client that you are responsible for promoting.
Write down the things you are good at.
Tell people you are good at those things, whether it’s through writing LinkedIn posts that highlight past successes or expertise, applying for awards, or finding other thought leadership opportunities.
Make this a daily/weekly practice
Rinse, repeat!
We’re not faking anything. We’ve earned our place. It is time to start acting like it.
Connect With Andrea
Comments