Why Win-Win Isn’t Enough: The Power of Win-Win-Win Leadership
- 4 days ago
- 2 min read
By Alyssa S Janney, MBA
Years ago, while visiting my parents in assisted living, I noticed the same women sitting near the elevator day after day.
What puzzled me was their complaint.
Despite a calendar full of activities, they would often say, “There’s nothing to do around here.”
At first, I didn’t understand. Opportunities seemed to be everywhere.
Then I accompanied my mother, who was living with dementia, to an exercise class.
I wheeled her into the room and sat quietly off to the side. Resistance bands were handed out, and the instructor guided participants through the movements using verbal instructions.
From a distance, it looked like success.
My mother wanted to participate. She tried. Every so often she would lift the band and do her best to follow along. But no one interacted with her. Nothing in the experience helped compensate for the cognitive slowing that made initiating movement difficult.
When the class ended, I returned to my mother in her wheelchair. Another resident approached me and, speaking as though she couldn’t possibly understand him, said, “I’m sorry, but she just can’t do this class.”
I remember feeling angry and deeply saddened. But I also remember wondering:
Who was he to decide that?
My mother had spent her life raising a family, serving others, and contributing to her community. She was trying. She wanted to participate.
Why should someone else decide she no longer belonged?
In that moment, I realized something I have carried with me ever since:
Providing opportunities and creating experiences are not the same thing.
The class itself wasn’t the problem.
From the facility’s perspective, it was a success. A class had been offered. For many residents, it was a success.
But residents like my mother were unintentionally excluded.
The organization had achieved a win.
Many residents experienced a win.
But my mother hadn’t.
And society lost an opportunity to help people maintain health, connection, and quality of life.
That day taught me that win-win isn’t always enough.
Traditional leadership asks:
“How do we create value for ourselves and our customers?”
Win-win-win leadership asks a bigger question:
“Who else should benefit?”
Far from being charity, win-win-win leadership is strategy.
It creates trust.
It strengthens culture.
It attracts partners.
It builds loyalty.
And it reveals opportunities that purely transactional thinking often misses.
I’ve seen this repeatedly throughout my career. The strongest partnerships are rarely transactional. They are built around aligned interests and the belief that everyone involved should benefit.
That philosophy eventually shaped my vision for aging care. I came to believe that supporting older adults, empowering caregivers, strengthening organizations, and benefiting society are not competing priorities. They are mutually reinforcing.
Too often, leaders ask:
“How do we make this work?”
Win-win-win leaders ask a better question:
“How do we make this work for everyone who matters?”
Because the greatest opportunities don’t emerge when value is divided.
They emerge when value multiplies.
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