Winning on My Own Terms
- Apr 7
- 3 min read
By Stacy Verdick Case
For most of my early career, I was the definition of success on paper. I worked at a respected, well-paid job. I was stable, responsible, and smart with my choices. From the outside, everything looked right.Inside, I was unraveling.
The place I worked at was deeply toxic, and the stress showed up physically. I was throwing up every morning on my way to work. When I got within a mile of the office I would have to pull over to be sick. I told myself this was what being a grown up was supposed to be and I just needed to learn to manage the stress. My body was telling a different truth.
At the same time, my daughter was still very young. My husband worked nights, and we tag-teamed childcare. He would send me photos of her at the park while I sat at a desk at job I despised. I died a little every time he sent a photo of her smiling face. I slowly realized that I was working so hard to protect a life I was missing.
That was when my definition of success changed shape.
Success no longer means a fancy title, or a high income, or societies approval. Instead success is now about alignment, presence and health. It’s the ability to build a life that does not require me to disappear to sustain it.
Leaving a “successful” career came with real consequences. My family had to make significant lifestyle cuts. No vacations. No dinners out. No extras. There was nothing glamorous about starting over. I built my business, Peony Lane Designs, slowly and without guarantees. But for the first time, my work and my values were no longer at odds. And I wasn’t getting sick every day.
I knew I had made the right choice in 2019, when my mother passed away. Because I had already stepped away from a corporate career, I was able to be fully present with her in her final days. That time was not something I could have planned for, but it became the clearest measure of success I have ever known. I had built a life that allowed me to show up when it mattered most.
Then, like every other business owner, I was forced to redefine success again. Just as Peony Lane Designs found its footing, COVID erased years of momentum. Suddenly all my pop up sales were canceled. The store was closed. Opportunities dried up overnight. I had to rebuild from the ground up a second time.
That season taught me something essential. Success is not a destination you reach and keep. It is a constant battle, a choice you make to keep going no matter what is thrown at you.
Today, my work centers on helping people create beautiful homes sustainably through vintage restoration, DIY education, and creative reuse. But beneath the business, my definition of winning remains deeply personal and quiet. Success is the ability to structure my work around my health, my family, and my values rather than sacrificing them to maintain appearances.
For women trying to detach from comparison, I believe the most powerful question is who benefits from the standards you are measuring yourself against? Many external definitions of success reward burnout, overextension, and constant proving, especially for women.
Comparison weakens when success is defined by how life feels rather than how it looks on the outside.
Women should ask these questions when defining success. Does my work support my wellbeing? Does my schedule reflect what matters most? Do I recognize myself in the life I am building?
Winning on your own terms often looks smaller from the outside. But it feels amazing on the inside.
For me, that has made all the difference.
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