You’re Not Who You Think You Are: You’re Who You Learned to Be
- Nov 7
- 3 min read
By Patricia Heitz, NBC-HWC
From the first moment we enter this world, our survival depends on feeling safe in our environment.
As babies and children, we don’t yet know self-acceptance; we only know acceptance by others.
We rely on the faces, voices, and energy of those around us to reflect back our worth.
When that reflection is warm, consistent, and unconditional, our inner world records a foundational truth: I am safe. I belong. I matter.
But if that love feels conditional; tied to our behavior, or performance, we learn a different message: I must earn love. I must prove I’m worthy.
That early, unconscious belief becomes the lens through which we experience life. We don’t become who we authentically are, we become who we learned to be; who it is safe to be; the good girl, the overachiever, the caretaker; roles formed from survival.
As adults, those patterns quietly drive everything: how we love, what we tolerate, how much joy we allow. Most of us are still living through the beliefs of a scared child who once thought, “It’s not safe to be me.”
The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything
For me, that realization came through a diagnosis.
When I was told, years ago, I had kidney cancer during what I assumed was a routine check-up, the shock was devastating. There were no symptoms, no warnings. But beneath the surface, years of self-criticism, and self-loathing, that energy, had quietly stored in my body.
After studying the mind/body connection, I realized my illness was the physical manifestation of decades of unhealed, negative beliefs from a childhood where love was always conditional.
I had unknowingly carried the energy of “I’m not enough” for so long, it had become part of my biology.
As I continued to study the mind-body connection, energy psychology, and belief transformation, I discovered the undeniable truth, if I wanted to live, I had to change the energy of my beliefs from negative to positive.
After applying what I had learned, I realized it was an actual step by step, that would later become my D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™ methodology, a process I first created to save my own life.
How I Learned to D.A.R.E. My Beliefs
It became my personal roadmap to healing and a new life:
D – Discover the unconscious beliefs I had absorbed in childhood; the lies about my worth.
A – Assess where those beliefs came from and how they were shaping my health, relationships, and sense of self.
R – Recreate new beliefs grounded in truth, self-compassion, and my authentic gifts, talents and strengths.
E – Expand on those beliefs into every area of my life, as I learned to recognize when I would be pulled back, and continue to discover the authentic best of me.
For the first time, I experienced true self-acceptance, that easily lead to genuine self-love.
That inner transformation didn’t just heal my body; it rewrote the story of who I am and why I’m here.
Why This Matters for You
Every woman carries beliefs formed by an immature brain in childhood. Those beliefs still influence how we see ourselves today and drive all our decisions and relationships. But they aren’t truth; they’re echoes of survival.
When you dare to look at them with compassion instead of shame, you begin to reclaim your authentic identity.
Healing isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about embracing the gift of you.
This why I now guide others through the D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™ process, to help them uncover the beliefs quietly running their lives and re-create new ones rooted in worthiness, emotional freedom, and love.
Because you were never flawed.
You were simply believing through the eyes of the child you once were.
And once you reclaim your self-acceptance, you will find self-love, and this is when you can stop living in survival and start living authentically, who you have always been…
the magnificent gifts of you.
If you have questions about how to D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™, visit: www.patriciaheitz.com, or contact me directly at pheitz@patriciaheitz.com.
Patricia Heitz, NBC-HWC, is a Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Mindset Mentor, and creator of the D.A.R.E. Your Beliefs™ method; a belief-reset system that helps women identify, dismantle, and recreate the unconscious patterns keeping them stuck. A kidney cancer survivor and advocate for emotional wellness, Patricia’s mission is to help others transform self-limiting beliefs into self-love, purpose, and authentic living. You can learn more at: www.patriciaheitz.com
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