Born to Bloom: A Love Letter to the Woman I’m Becoming
- May 29
- 4 min read
By W Katherine Waite-Gracie
I’ve realized so much about myself in the past year, year and a half, 3 years, since the COVID-19 lockdown, since my 18-year marriage ended, and since the world disappeared; the world as it had always been, and when we fell into the secluded safety of our stay-at-home bubbles. Like so many, my two kids and I were plunged into a numb fog. With the added end to “the four of us family” and being cut off from the world, we spent a year in a distant robot-like nightmare. Although my hermit-like shelter of comfort was now mandatory, it was all just too overwhelming. As much as I love seclusion, the sudden loss of everything familiar hit hard. As hard as it all was, though, it seemed to be the “broken me” push I needed to really go, full body, mind, and soul, into my journey of self-discovery, growth, healing, levelling up and breaking barriers.
My desire to stay out of the way, to be unseen, unheard and to not make waves and peace keep have been my life story. Actually, it’s still me, I’m just expanding those boundaries I’ve set and had set upon me.
I’ve slowly been cracking away on this shell of mine, with its many layers, and slowly and steadily, it’s been getting thinner. Light is bursting through the cracks and glowing through the thinner armour and is pushing me to keep going. Keep showing up for me. Keep being consistent with my steps forward. Keep getting back up, each and every time something knocks me on my ass! I’ve learned so much about stepping into my person.
As a child, I wrote and drew often. Daily. When I was 13, I wrote my first “book.” A short story about my lifelong sickness and brain surgery. It was a healing journey that I was able to share with all my school friends, and I plan to one day publish it, for the sake of 13-year-old me wanting to become an Author. To now have the 4th book in my series published, to hit International Best Seller multiple times in multiple countries was beyond anything I’d ever thought to imagine as a little girl! To hold my books in my hands. To have people talk about my characters and how much they love them makes me burst with love.
To have people tell me I’ve inspired them, to have my daughter a published author at 16, it’s all like liquid sunshine inside me!
I was a please don’t notice me girl. I’m stepping into a hey, look over here girl. It’s even starting to feel like a good fit! I have always excelled at fitting into the boxes I was given. Now that I’m becoming more seen and known, my comforts and old stories are being pushed. This Cancerian crab has wanted to step back and hide-away in her shell many times. Even when things aren’t healthy, even when they no longer serve us, it is so much easier to go back to what you know. There is a dysfunctional comfort staying still and staying the same that I no longer want. I am falling forward, flat on my face sometimes, getting pushed back, and getting back up. I’m stretching and learning, and it’s messy, hard and uncomfortable and pure and smooth and beautiful. When I let the stinkn’ thinkn’ volume rise I feel regret and anger that this is who I am. That I’ve shrunk to fit. Hidden to hide my light. Stayed still because what if I tried and failed. In the last 2 years of writing my 5-part series, braving being seen, learning new skills and embracing my path, I’m watching my kids watching me and the pilot light I rekindled within glows bright knowing that those
things I did or didn’t do aren’t what they see, and definitely aren’t what I should be focusing on. What they see is their mom, a woman breaking free of what once was, choosing the life she wants and the life I want for the three of us, and an unstoppable force asking what next!?, look at me grow!
I’m doing this for me, but it’s happening for the people in my life too. When we spread love, in whatever form, we create acceptance, freedom, inspiration, creativity, and expression. It’s beautiful how we can speed up and multiple good vibrations with others. The ripple effect of becoming the best version of yourself is amazing and powerful.
When I was working on publishing book one, The Mugs & Saucers Café, from The Maggie Ashberry Series, I didn’t want my picture on the book and was even leaning towards using a penname. I was nervous about being “seen” and embarrassed that the work I’d had pouring from my soul was in the form of a romance series. What would people that knew me think of me reading the “smut” on those pages? Would they be disappointed in me, think less of me, etc.? I’m so glad I didn’t hide because guess what? It actually doesn’t matter what others think, especially if you are not hurting anyone, but the best part of it all was that they were all so unbelievably proud and excited for me! For me, that recognition was wonderful, but it wasn’t just the recognition for my story, it was the recognition for me being me and taking steps to become my best me. This caterpillar is becoming the butterfly she secretly dreamed of being. My series is spicy, naughty and delightfully salacious. The world I created is a fairy tale with all the yummy bits that were missing, added, and it is one I will live myself, one day, hopefully sooner than later. It is a world that makes people’s hearts beat faster and pulses race and gives hope for finding a true companion. Embracing the romantic and dirty side of myself has been a long time coming and I’m not going anywhere!
I’ve healed and grown in more ways than I could ever express.
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