Buried,Not Broken: My Father’s Last Request

By Tiffany O'Hearn

Just find love, Tiff. Find love. I was told in the last few weeks of my fathers life. It was in a quiet room, dark, sad, he grabbed my hand and said just find love. After his death this sent me on a quest, at first it traversed the physical, until it landed in the spirit, the soul. 

A few weeks later my father passed away, we were all there, hovered around as he let out his last breath as a tear rolled down his cheek. Through the tears, and grief that followed his request loomed in my mind. As a daughter who loves to please her parents, I fell into a relationship, thinking Dad, I did it. I did what you asked. 

7 years later, I found myself in an abusive relationship with a daughter, and a looming divorce and this single thought of how I could have let this happen. How could divorce be here? I swore that I would not raise my daughter the way I was raised, and here I was. I was so sure this would not be my story, or so I thought. In those moments of taking off the rings that were placed on my fingers, I made the most powerful declaration in my life, I need to figure out who that was. Who was that who showed up in that marriage, that relationship, and who I was. All what I thought were they even my beliefs? And, again, this sent me down another almost 7 year journey (I sit here in reflection half a saturn return). 

I went down a deep journey of self discovery, learning, healing, shedding layers through nutrition, nervous system regulation, energy healing, EFT tapping, astrology, books upon books, podcasts upon podcasts. Nature, being intentional, feeling into all my emotions, reactions, learning about past lives and karma, ancestral trauma, and trauma in our minds, bodies and souls. 

What I came to learn a few short months ago, was that my fathers request was never meant for another human being. It was meant for me. Since his death, and my rebirth, I have found my way home, back to me, to self, to love. I am still learning, and I will continue to be a student of myself, for that is why we are here. And in that I have discovered that my voice is my power, my heart is my sword, and spirit are my wings. 

I am here to heal, learn, and grow, and as much as I am here for me, I am here for you, for in my trials I have risen. And you can too. And if you are still reading this, it is no accident. The universe does not work this way. 

We are here in this beautiful physical existence to find ourselves, it is not in romance, drugs, food, alcohol, it is nature, our bodies, our beautiful minds, and our spirits. Through my journey I have realized that if it is important to me, it is important for you, and the journey does not stop, its a path, sometimes jagged with lots of twists and turns, but never wrong. 

We are our own compass, and yours is in the here and now as is mine. It is time we remembered who we are, it has only been buried. 

Buried under the beliefs that were never yours, the stories you’ve been told, and keep telling yourself, deep down there is your soul's truth.Your passions. Your purpose. Your voice. Your light. They were never lost — only buried. And now… it’s time to remember.

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