Confidence Isn’t Born, It’s Built

Oct 2
3 min read

By Marci Hopkins

The alarm went off. It was a Monday, the start of a new week. Before I even opened my eyes, the anxiety crept in. The pressure to be everything to everyone else. The guilt of not doing enough. And the fog from the wine I’d used the night before to “cope.”

That was my life almost ten years ago: exhausted, overwhelmed, and silently drowning. On the outside, I looked like I had it together. On the inside, I was falling apart.

What changed everything for me wasn’t just getting sober, it was learning to reconnect with myself and to build my confidence from the inside out. I realized I had been living for everyone else’s approval, measuring my worth by achievements, perfection, and people-pleasing. But real transformation began the moment I gave myself permission...permission to not be perfect, to ask for help, and to finally put myself first.

That permission was the spark that lit the fire of confidence within me.

Confidence Isn’t Born, It’s Built

Confidence isn’t about walking into a room and being the loudest voice. It’s about walking into a room knowing you are enough, whether anyone notices or not. For me, confidence was built one small choice at a time.

Choosing gratitude instead of guilt.
Choosing boundaries instead of burnout.
Choosing forgiveness instead of shame.

Each choice was a brick in the foundation of a new life...one rooted in peace, clarity, and joy.

As I grew in confidence, doors began to open. I became the host of Wake Up with Marci, an inspirational television show on CBS WLNY-TV. I launched my podcast to dive deeper into meaningful conversations around healing and mental health. I wrote my award-winning book, Chaos to Clarity. I am a motivational speaker, and I have built a life changing program, Chaos to Clarity: From Stuck to Thriving, to guide other women through the same transformation.

None of this happened overnight. But it all started with one decision: to believe I was worthy of change.

Why Confidence Creates Change

Confidence is contagious. When you find your voice, you give others permission to find theirs too.

When you stop apologizing for your worth, you model for your children, your colleagues, and your community what it looks like to own your power.

That’s why I speak openly about my healing journey because confidence grows when we strip away shame and speak our truths. I want women to know: you don’t have to earn your worth. You already have it.

How You Can Start Today

If you’re reading this and wondering how to begin, let me offer three simple steps:

Gratitude First – Each morning, write down three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude rewires your brain to see what you have instead of what’s missing.
One Boundary – Say no to one thing this week that drains you. Notice how much energy it frees up.
Forgive Yourself – Write a letter to yourself releasing the guilt of one past mistake. Remind yourself: you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.

These practices may seem small, but they’re powerful. They help shift your mindset from powerless to empowered, from stuck to thriving.

My Call to You

Confidence isn’t about changing who you are, it’s about returning to who you’ve always been. Underneath the guilt, the shame, and the fear, your worth has never left you.

So today, I want to leave you with this truth: