Embracing Resilience: My Journey from Assault to Audacity

My name is Michele Paiva; I am autistic (she/her) and a therapist --and like many readers; I am a survivor of assault, neglect, abuse and loss. Like many readers, I also had the audacity to heal. It's a process and path I am still on.

My journey into the world of financial therapy is deeply intertwined with professional and, my personal experiences.

Before facing significant adversity, my life, like many others, had its share of trials and triumphs. In my early twenties, I was filled with hope and ambition, but a traumatic event would soon alter the course of my life.

I was (sexually) assaulted, left for dead, and underwent emergency surgery to save my life. This harrowing experience shattered me physically, emotionally and financially. I didn't realize then that trauma could have such a profound impact on one's economic well-being. The Challenge The trauma I endured left me not only emotionally scarred but financially devastated. The financial strain, coupled with the physical healing, scars that were a reminder and the emotional aftermath, was overwhelming. I was broken in ways I never anticipated, struggling to piece my life back together.

A decade later, my world was further upended when I held my mother, my best friend, as she succumbed to cancer. I had to find the strength to tell her it was okay to let go of her suffering. This moment of profound grief and responsibility was the hardest thing I've ever faced, but it also became a pivotal point in my life. The Turning Point The passing of my mother and the profound challenges I faced catalyzed a profound shift in my perspective.

I realized that I didn’t want others to endure the silent suffering I experienced or to face financial hardship without understanding the connection between trauma and finances.

This realization was the spark that ignited my transformation. I decided to channel my experiences into something meaningful, leading me to pursue a path in financial therapy.

So much about women is taboo; we are often taught that it isn't ladylike to talk about menstruation, menopause, our assaults or struggles, including financial struggles. Actions Taken To address and overcome my challenges, I embarked on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Part of that was being my authentic self; letting my autism be unmasked. Not trying to fit in. It was liberating and I think everyone should let their weird fly as much as possible.

I pursued transpersonal psychology, which combines spiritual and psychological insights, to understand and address the trauma that had impacted my life and finances as well as other women.

I had a career that taught me how women hold so much inside, and suffer in silence. I immersed myself in studying financial literacy and therapy, driven by a desire to help others who faced similar struggles. I wrote three books on financial therapy, sharing my insights and experiences. Additionally, I created the first and only financial therapy app, aiming to provide a unique resource for those seeking to navigate their financial and emotional challenges. Lessons Learned My journey taught me that resilience and recovery are not just about overcoming adversity but also about understanding and addressing the underlying issues.

I learned that trauma can profoundly affect financial stability and that healing involves both emotional and practical strategies.

Overcoming these challenges changed me deeply, shaping my approach as a therapist and my commitment to supporting others.

One of the most important lessons is that healing is a spectrum; we may not all be on the autism spectrum, but we are all on a spectrum of healing and overcoming.

Even my physical scars are gone; I was told I would never have children but I did have two. I needed a C-section with my first. My scars were gone because a wonderful OB/GYN when I had that surgical birth, with my daughter, cut the scars away; I didn't know until I woke up that she did this for me. 

She had the audacity to heal parts of me that were holding me back, beyond my control- but within hers; and I am forever grateful.

I learned to let go, and use that space as a pivot to create meaningful change, after many tears of course- and sometimes those tears of loss still leak-- but they water and nourish my mission. Advice for Others For those facing similar challenges, remember that your journey is unique, and healing takes time. Seek support from professionals who understand the intersection of trauma and financial struggles. Embrace resources and strategies that resonate with you, whether it's therapy, financial education, or self-care practices. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. While I do not wish pain on anyone, if you have it, remember it is an energy and energy can change form. You are more powerful than you can imagine. Achieving Success Today, I am proud of the successes I’ve achieved despite the obstacles I faced. I think my late mother would be proud of me. It is a homage to her. My work as a financial therapist has allowed me to help others understand and overcome their financial and emotional difficulties. The creation of my app and my books are testaments to the power of resilience and the importance of addressing trauma's impact on financial health. My experiences have fueled my passion for helping others, and I continue to thrive by focusing on my mission to support those in need. Don't be shy about your success. You were meant for greatness. Future Goals I expect life will get tough and knock me down a few times; but looking ahead, I aspire to expand my reach and impact through continued innovation in financial therapy. I aim to further develop resources that support individuals in navigating their financial and emotional landscapes. My goal is to inspire and empower more people to find their path to emotional healing and financial stability.

To anyone facing their own challenges, I encourage you to reflect on your journey and seek the support you need. Embrace the lessons you learn along the way and remember that your resilience is a powerful force. Take the first step toward overcoming your obstacles and building a future where you can thrive. Your story is unique, and with the right support and mindset, you can turn assaults to your mind or body into an audacious comeback. Feel free to connect with me at TheFinanceTherapist.com