by Emily Cleghorn
Finding your voice isn’t just about speaking up—it’s about reclaiming your power and defining your worth. When you learn to advocate for yourself with confidence, you take control of your life and begin living on your terms. The journey to finding your voice starts with a crucial realization: you are responsible for managing your own emotions, not those of others.
This concept changed my life. For too long, I believed it was my job to keep others comfortable, even at the expense of my own happiness. Speaking up felt terrifying, as though conflict would shatter the fragile peace I worked so hard to maintain. I would often freeze, unable to get words out, stuck in a cycle of silence and self-abandonment.
Society teaches us that prioritizing others’ feelings over our own is noble. But that belief fosters codependency, where our sense of self becomes entangled with others’ opinions and reactions. True freedom comes when you stop holding back to protect others’ emotions and start honoring your truth.
Breaking Free from Silence
I didn’t always know this. I spent years prioritizing others, avoiding conflict, and staying small. I feared judgment and rejection, which kept me from asserting my needs. But over time, I realized that suppressing my voice wasn’t just emotionally damaging—it was taking a toll on my physical health.
Learning to communicate effectively became a pivotal part of my healing journey. Speaking up for yourself isn’t about being confrontational; it’s about expressing your truth with compassion. It’s about balancing kindness with authenticity. Here are a few tools that have helped me reclaim my voice:
1. Use “I” Statements
How you frame your words matters. Using “I” statements shifts the focus to your experience rather than assigning blame. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I’m interrupted.” This approach fosters understanding and reduces defensiveness.
2. Be Intentional with Your Communication
Communication is about more than words—it’s also about tone and body language. A calm, open posture signals receptivity and encourages a productive conversation. Pay attention to your tone, choosing words that reflect clarity rather than confrontation.
3. Speak from Love, Not Anger
Approaching difficult conversations with love and calm can transform the outcome. If you’re feeling triggered, take a moment to breathe and ground yourself before engaging. Speaking from a place of anger often leads to more conflict, but speaking from compassion opens the door to understanding.
Reclaiming Your Freedom
Finding your voice isn’t just about advocating for yourself—it’s about reclaiming your power and stepping into the life you deserve. By speaking your truth and setting boundaries, you create space for genuine relationships built on mutual respect. Your happiness is not dependent on others; it’s something only you can cultivate.
If I had let fear of judgment stop me, I wouldn’t have written my books or pursued this path of helping others heal. Your voice matters. Use it to create the life you desire, unapologetically and with confidence.
Start small. Practice these tools in low-stakes situations, and watch your confidence grow. Speaking up is a muscle that strengthens with use. Remember: finding your voice is the first step toward finding your freedom.
Connect with Emily
Комментарии