From Pain to Power

By Janelle Sam

After the housing market crashed in 2009, I became a stay-at-home mom to my daughters.  They were ages 2 and 4 at the time.  My husband was supportive of this change, or so I believed and threw myself wholeheartedly into the role.  My older daughter wanted to join the Girl Scouts, so became a troop leader for her.  I became a volunteer with one of the charitable organizations in our town working my way up to Co-President.  Every minute was filled with running my household, organizing townwide fundraisers, and being involved in school related activities with my children. Heck, I even made and sold custom cakes on the side since I had the time to work on my craft.

However, 6 years later, I was blindsided by being served divorce papers via email while at the state fair with my daughters and her friends.  I was devastated.  I did not think that the issues that was in my marriage was bad to the point of divorce. To make matters worse the divorce was as cliché as it could get.  Even though I had not worked in 6 years and my ex was the sole financial provider of the family, he wiped out the bank accounts against the judge's orders. It forced me to open a credit card in my name using my ex's financial info before the divorce was finalized just to be able to put gas in the car.  It took a while before I could find a job that would pay more than the cost of childcare.  My mental health spiraled as I went through a period of anger, grief, shame, lost relationships, and financial struggle. There were times when I felt like ending it all.  

My two beautiful daughters were my anchors to sanity and perseverance.  I got out of bed because they needed to be fed and taken to school.  Their needs became the fuel that kept me moving forward. They needed me more than ever before and firmly decided that I would go through hell to protect them regardless of the cost.  Eventually, I secured a job at a litigation consulting firm and worked my up to being one of their top revenue generators.  While there I was exposed to the brightest and best in the nation as I found, interviewed, and hired subject matter experts for complex litigation.  The accomplishments of these individuals inspired me to return to grad school and decided to Cornell University’s Executive MBA program. The worse that could happen was that they say no.  They did not and was accepted into the prestigious program.  

Going back to school was one of many breakthroughs I’ve had since the divorce. I started travelling by myself and my first solo trip was to Iceland, Holland, and Paris to celebrate my 40th birthday. NJ was not a place that I was thriving in and decided to relocate to Houston, Texas. I switched careers from litigation consulting to business consulting. I've been instrumental in helping many law firm owners grow their business, acquire more clients/customers, and hire more employees. It’s how I met Paul Seabrook, the founder of Seabrook Family Law in San Jose California. Having gone through an acrimonious divorce myself, I’m able to help him reach his goal of helping as many individuals as possible navigate divorce. 

My daughters were firsthand witnesses to the complete transformation of my life. I went from being a middle manager in a global company, to a stay-at-home mom and volunteer, to helping business owners grow multi-million-dollar businesses. What I thought was in the darkest period of my life when I was served those divorce papers, was when my potential was planted like a seed. I needed to get divorced to find myself again. 

Looking back, I was only half the woman compared to who I am today. I’ve since been able to purchase my dream home on a lake on my own. I've solo travelled to many countries for fun, and I am engaged in work that fills me with purpose. My face and body aged backwards because I was finally pouring back into myself consistently. My life is now filled with "what's next?" moments and am loving every part of it!

Today I would tell that version of me who almost gave up that it's okay to feel the pain. It was the catalyst needed to disrupt the complacency I had towards life. The experience woke me up to start living the life I did not allow myself to imagine becoming my reality!

Janelle Sam is the Head of Business Strategy and Operations at Seabrook Family Law in San Jose, CA and has over 25 years of experience as a highly skilled executive advisor, entrepreneur, and media influencer. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Corporate Communications (Cum Laude) from Baruch College with a Master of Business Administration from Cornell University. She was recognized as one of the top 50 Women Leaders in Houston by Women We Admire in 2022. 

Connect With Janelle

www.seabrooklawoffices.com/janelle-sam

TikTok: @ms_janelle_sam

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