Gratitude Over Grief

By Danielle Diamond

My mother died by suicide, and I handled it the way any self-respecting workaholic would: I didn't. I went back to work two days later, ghosting my grief as if nothing happened.

Then I stumbled into my first yoga class—scouting a location for an MTV video. Yoga was something my grandmother did, not me, I was a hardcore runner. But after that first class, something shifted. I felt more present in my body and my heart felt like it had been cracked open. I kept going back, not because I could balance in Crow pose, but because I'd found a practice that let me sit with uncomfortable feelings instead of running from them.

Over the next year of practicing yoga, meditation, and gratitude, I began to release the guilt I'd been carrying. I finally understood that her illness wasn't something I could have fixed with more love or attention. What really transformed my life? I stopped focusing on how I lost her and started feeling grateful for having had her at all. t I'd been so consumed by her death that I'd forgotten to be grateful for her life.

That shift from grief to gratitude became the foundation of my wellness transformation, and eventually, what I came to teach others.

The one thing everyone craves in life is happiness. We think we need a bigger house or a nicer car, but yoga taught me that happiness doesn’t come from getting things or achieving. It comes from being grateful for what we have, where we are.

Here's how you can practice gratitude and begin to make "happy" your baseline:

Wake up with an attitude of gratitude. Find something to be thankful for each morning. It could be your partner sleeping next to you, the yoga mat waiting for you, or the coffee you're about to drink. Having positive thoughts right off the bat starts your day from a place of abundance rather than lack. Positivity breeds positivity, and the same goes for being negative.

When you're grateful for the little things, it makes it easier to accept when things don't go your way—and be mindful that many people would trade problems with you in a second. Some things we take for granted: food, shelter, health, a job—are things other people would love to have.

Practice nighttime gratitude. Before you go to sleep, think of three things you were grateful for that day. It could be as simple as a warm shower or as decadent as a week on vacation. Make it the last thing in your mind before you sleep. The thoughts we have before we drift off are incredibly effective in setting us up for a positive sleep experience and the morning after.

We all say we don't have time to add one more thing to our plate, but maybe you need to take something off that's not serving you, so you can add the things that will bring you more happiness and joy on a daily basis.

I left MTV two years after my yoga revelation and became a teacher. Me. The girl who thought yoga was for grandmas. Now I stand in front of students sharing what saved my life: that grief and gratitude can coexist, and that happiness comes from within.

My mother couldn't find peace in this world, but she gave me the fierce love I needed to find mine. Every morning when I wake up grateful for the years I had with her—and that’s how I transformed my pain into peace.

Connect With Danielle

www.xenstrength.com

www.instagram.com/xenstrength