How To Overcome Conflict And Create Outstanding Relationships
- 4 hours ago
- 3 min read
By Dorothe Philippe
Conflict touches every one of us. Whether it erupts at home, at work, or in our closest relationships, it can feel overwhelming and disorienting. Arguments flare, emotions rise, and suddenly we’re reminded painfully of how little we were taught about navigating emotionally charged situations.
But it doesn’t have to be this way, says Dorothe Philippe, mentor in intuition, transformational coach, experienced animal psychologist, healer and international bestselling co-author on women’s empowerment. With a few essential tools, every woman can create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Know the Power of Your Emotions
At the core of every relationship challenge - romantic, familial, professional, or social - are emotions. They determine:
what we choose to focus on
the meaning we give to an event
and the actions we take next
Two people can live the same experience yet feel completely different emotions. That’s because emotions are shaped by our thoughts, our past, and the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others.
Many women feel ruled by their emotions, believing they have little control over them. In reality, we can influence how we think, how we feel, and how we respond.
The word “emotion” comes from the Latin ex movere, meaning “to move out of the usual state.” In Western culture, we’re often taught to suppress or dismiss our feelings. Emotions, however are messengers. They reveal our inner world and highlight where something has drifted away from our truth. They ask us to pay attention to ourselves, to analyze and express what we feel.
Healthy expression of emotions can be simple:
Speak your truth.
Ask for what you need
When we express emotions authentically, we return to clarity and inner peace. Communication becomes more honest and grounded, creating safety and compassion in our relationships.
Know Your Needs—and the Needs of Others
In her powerful book Relationship Breakthrough, renowned innovator in family therapy and strategic intervention Cloé Madanes explains that improving our relationships starts with four shifts:
change our focus
stop blaming
understand the real problem
pay attention to our needs
Human psychology teaches that we all share six identical fundamental needs:
1. Certainty/Comfort: the need for safety, comfort, stability, predictability and protection
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for change, challenges, new experiences and suspense
3. Significance: the need to feel important, special, wanted and needed
4. Love/Connection: the need to love, be loved and to connect with others
5. Growth: the need to grow, learn and develop.
6. Contribution: the need to give and help others and serve a cause.
The first four help us survive.
The last two help us thrive.
Most people prioritize two needs above the others. When you understand which ones drive you, your reactions make more sense. And when you recognize someone else’s primary needs, conflict softens and communication becomes easier.
Know Your Fears
Behind every unmet need are two universal fears:
I am not enough.
I will not be loved.
These fears shape countless conflicts—silently influencing our behavior, expectations, and emotional triggers. When we recognize them without judgment, something profound shifts. Compassion grows. Defensiveness melts. Understanding takes the place of blame.
Step Into Your Power
Women especially tend to override their needs in order to care for others. But genuine love—whether for partners, children, friends, colleagues, or within a community—begins with honoring ourselves first.
Knowing your needs is not selfish.
It is essential.
It is what allows you to give wholeheartedly and to receive in return.
When two people understand each other’s emotions, needs, and fears, relationships transform. They become spaces of love and growth. From there, truly outstanding relationships begin.
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