by Debra Hillard
Medicine is traditionally thought of as a drug prescribed by a doctor to treat a mental or physical ailment. In my spiritual practice, I have sought “other ways” to facilitate healing for myself and others—my own form of medicine.
“Western medicine” has saved my life before, so I don’t discount its efficacy or importance in modern times, but pharmaceuticals and procedures have also wreaked havoc on my body. I’ve had the blessing and the curse of having health issues that Western medicine couldn’t help, forcing me to dig deeper into what my body needs.
Many physical issues stem from an emotional imbalance, our body’s way of signaling when we are out of whack. But decades of therapy weren’t enough to bring my soul back to a healthy state. I needed to walk my true spiritual path and do the work of reclaiming my life. Unfortunately, that was not enough either. After integrating all of the spiritual awakening and growth, I found myself sicker than ever, my body appearing to spiral rapidly downward, and bewildered.
During one painfully sleepless night I decided to turn to Spirit instead of turning on my computer and working—going straight to the source for help. The message was clear: nothing thrives without love and I did not love my body—I have never loved it. The trauma of my childhood, though I thought I had long since “dealt with” it, had left me frozen. I had no unconditional love for this old, wrinkled body that was betraying my dreams and every attempt at fixing it. The truth was that I hadn’t loved it even when it was in great shape.
This was about unconditional love for myself, my whole self. Not just my spirit, my soul, my essence, which I honored and cherished, but all of me including the physical vessel that housed it all. I had discounted the importance of that so many years ago that I was unaware of the impact it was having on my physical health. I was blind to the missing piece of my puzzle. Having done the soul work, I now had to do the work of loving my physical self as well.
For years I was a fitness trainer and coach, encouraging my clients to embrace their bodies’ power. Now I create luxurious pieces to help others appreciate the sensual aspect of themselves, to feel the pleasure of being in their bodies.
Was I allowing myself the same pleasure? Was I aware of my own power in this area? I was detached from my body and using it as a vehicle to do my work, but I was not enjoying being in it. I wasn’t using all of my senses, nor was I relishing the ones I WAS using. Suddenly, “Medicine For Your Soul” was not adequate. My body’s inability to rejuvenate was the much-needed lesson, but it’s up to me to use the tools at my disposal to thaw the ice separating me from my visceral experiences. I know how to feel and endure pain. Can I feel pleasure too?
I’m not alone here my friends. I’d say that most of us are living less than fully sensually aware lives. We live in a puritanical society that teaches us not to indulge in pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Healing happens to the entirety of our being, the emotional, spiritual and the physical.
Now I offer “Medicine For Your Body and Soul.” My dream is to inspire others to embrace their bodies with unconditional love and shower them with all of the pleasures our earth has to offer.
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