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Navigating Triggers and Tantrums: My Journey to Healing and Helping Others

by Emily Cleghorn


I’m Emily Cleghorn, and I’m passionate about helping trauma-surviving mothers like myself navigate the tumultuous journey of healing childhood trauma while parenting. As an award-winning trauma recovery coach, author, podcaster, and inspirational speaker, my mission is to support mamas in managing triggers and tantrums, creating positive ripples for generations to come. 

Managing Triggers on the Go 


When asked how I learned to manage my triggers on the go and how my life has changed, I candidly say, "Oh, man. It was messy. Let me just say that it was messy." 


My journey began with a traumatic childhood where emotions were not discussed. Raised by my boomer grandparents, I lacked emotional coping skills. When I had my daughter in 2018, it was like a freight train of repressed emotions crashing into me. As a first-time mom, I was like, what the heck am I supposed to do? How do I feel all these feelings and take care of this child and stay alive? The initial phase was filled with shame and a deep-seated dislike for the label "mom" due to my own negative experiences.


However, I embarked on a journey of self-awareness, identifying triggers, and practicing patience and self-compassion. I emphasized changing the narrative from self-blame to curiosity about the triggers. This shift helped me understand that reactions often stemmed from childhood memories rather than my child’s actions. Over time, I built my "trigger toolbox," a set of strategies to manage my responses. 


Building the Trigger Toolbox 


My initial tools were simple yet effective. When I would get overstimulated, I would pull my hood up, curl up in a ball, and breathe. This helped my nervous system calm down enough to address my children’s needs. As my journey progressed, I incorporated mindful breathing and journaling. Writing became a cathartic process for me, allowing me to purge emotions physically. There were days I would write multiple times and then read back what I wrote, often resulting in healing tears. 


The Importance of Support and Self-Care 


When discussing the most instrumental aspects of my journey, I highlight three key elements: support systems, educational resources, and self-care.


  • Support System: I stress the importance of having a supportive community that understands and uplifts you. I liken it to avoiding a "crab in a bucket" mentality, where individuals try to pull you back into old patterns. If your community does not support your growth, they are not the right community for you. 


  • Educational Resources: Good educational resources, whether therapists, coaches, or psychologists, are crucial. I emphasize that mothers who have experienced rough childhoods often need guidance to break the cycle and parent differently. 


  • Self-Care: Society often tells mothers to prioritize their children over themselves, but I insist on the importance of self-care. You can’t give your kids a healthy, happy mama if you are running on empty all the time. For me, self-care included journaling, exercising, and finding activities that helped express my emotions. 


A Journey of Rediscovery 


My trauma recovery has been a journey of rediscovery—finding out who I am beyond the trauma. My trauma recovery has been about discovering who I am and what I value outside the label of trauma survivor. I encourage mothers to give themselves grace, take care of themselves, and embrace the journey of healing. 


My story is a testament to the power of resilience and self-compassion. By sharing my experiences and tools, I hope to inspire trauma-surviving mothers to embark on their own healing journeys, creating positive ripples for generations to come.



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