Postpartum Depression and Gratitude: A Simple Practice To Support Healing

By Ceridwen Farley

Motherbaby Wellbeing Consultant

People often say to new moms, "Cherish this time! You should be grateful for every moment." But as a new mom, hearing this just left me feeling alone - and even angry. I felt like I was living in survival mode - and you're telling me I should be grateful!?

Yet research shows us that gratitude truly is a healing force when it comes to mental health. So how can we use gratitude to help moms heal - without bypassing the reality of their difficult circumstances?

The answer lies in the nervous system.

When new moms are overwhelmed, their nervous system can get stuck in "fight-or-flight" mode. This can create a feedback loop that puts even more stress on the mind and body.

In contrast, feelings of gratitude can get us out of "fight-or-flight" and into "rest and digest" mode. When this “parasympathetic” state is activated, all sorts of good things can happen - like reducing inflammation and supporting digestion, both of which can be linked to mental health. Gratitude brings the body into a place where healing - both physically and mentally - becomes possible.

When my own postpartum depression & anxiety was at its worst, there were days when I couldn't get up from the sofa. But my baby was always with me, so we'd sit on the sofa together - I'd prop him up on my knees so he was facing me, and in this position I could look into his eyes, study his features, and make faces back and forth with him. A sense of awe towards my baby came alive in me. By connecting with my baby in this simple way, I began to see the miracle & blessing that he truly was.

I'd spent months feeling like I was living in a dark hole - but the gratitude I felt when looking deeply at my son was a flicker of light that ignited my journey towards happiness in motherhood. It didn’t solve all my problems, but these moments helped to regulate my nervous system just enough to give me hope that things could get better.

Life with a new baby can be hard. You don't have to cherish it all or be grateful for every moment. But gratitude is a tool that helps you cope just a little better in hard times. It can give you a break from the stresses of daily life as a new mom, even if for a moment - and maybe, it can even become a pathway to healing.

Ceridwen Farley is a postpartum doula and lactation counselor who believes in the power of connection to support wellbeing for both mother and baby.

She hosts the Postpartum Prep Podcast, where she shares practical guidance and tips to help expecting parents prepare for life after birth.

Connect With Ceridwen

www.motherbabywellbeing.com

Instagram: @motherbabywellbeing