Redefining Nice: The Path to Sovereignty
- 13 hours ago
- 3 min read
By Yuliana Francie
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
— Rumi
For most of my life, I believed being nice was the highest virtue a woman could embody.
I was the good girl, the helper, the giver, the peacemaker, the perfectionist.
I thought that if I worked hard, stayed kind, and did everything right, I would finally earn love, approval, and belonging.
On the outside, I looked like I had it all together — the job, the marriage, the calm smile that said “I’m fine.” But on the inside, I was exhausted, not from failure, but from performing perfection.
It was the kind of emptiness that smiles in photos and cries in silence — a quiet desperation I now call the beggar of love. And I didn’t even know I was wearing those chains.
Until one day, life pushed me right off that cliff.
Everything I thought defined me began to crumble.
I had no choice but to build my wings on the way down.
In the darkness that followed, I played Katy Perry’s Roar on repeat.
The lyrics, “I used to bite my tongue, hold my breath scared to rock the boat and make a mess. You held me down, but I got up,” became a lifeline — the sound of my soul remembering its voice.
That was the moment I began to unbecome — to shed who I had been told to be, so I could remember who I truly was.
We’ve all worn that mask — the one that smiles when we want to scream.
The one that says, “I’m fine,” when our spirit is begging for freedom.
We were raised to be good girls — to please, to give, to earn love through self-sacrifice.
Somewhere along the way, we learned:
Love must be earned.
Boundaries are selfish.
Power makes you too much.
So we dimmed our light. We gave until we disappeared.
Growing up in Australia added another layer — Tall Poppy Syndrome.
It’s the cultural tendency to cut down anyone who rises too high.
We shrink to keep others comfortable, but the world is shifting.
A new era of womanhood is rising:
One where another woman’s success is not a threat, but a torch.
Where collaboration replaces competition.
Where one woman’s victory expands what’s possible for us all.
Redefining “Nice”
Being nice was never the problem.
The problem was the conditioning — the invisible rules that told us that being good meant being quiet, agreeable, and small.
“Kindness without boundaries isn’t noble — it’s self-abandonment disguised as service.”
True Nice is rooted in sovereignty in self-respect, emotional intelligence, and energetic alignment.
Because over-giving to earn love isn’t generosity, it’s fear in disguise.
The new definition of Nice is:
Softness with Strength
Love with Leadership
Grace with Grounded Power
Living the Practice
Earlier this year, I followed that alignment.
After a difficult conversation with my boss, my heart whispered, “Resign.”
The moment I decided to listen, my body felt calm.
That peace was my confirmation.
Once I surrendered, everything began to align.
That’s what Unbecoming You looks like in practice — releasing who you’re not, so you can become who you were always meant to be.
Every time you choose truth over approval, you reclaim another piece of your soul.
Unbecoming isn’t about losing yourself.
It’s about coming home to yourself.
The journey begins when you:
Unlearn what dims you.
Uncover what frees you.
Unleash what moves you.
Every decision becomes an act of alignment.
Every moment of truth brings you closer to freedom.
The Rise of Sovereign Women
For generations, women were told power and softness couldn’t coexist —
that truth made us too emotional, and leadership required sacrifice.
But consciousness is rising.
We are evolving.
We are the women no longer afraid to be both kind and powerful.
Loving and loud.
Feminine and fierce.
We are building empires from empathy, not exhaustion —
because true success isn’t built on force.
It’s built on love.
The Legacy of Unbecoming
“When half of us are held back, none of us rise.” — Malala Yousafzai
“When one woman stands up, she stands for all.” — Maya Angelou
And I believe,
“When she unbecomes who the world told her to be, she redefines in truth — and sets generations free.” — Yuliana Francie
The world doesn’t need more good girls.
It needs whole women — awake, aligned, and unapologetically free.
You were never meant to fit in.
You were born to lead the rise.
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